Why did a Monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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"Want to hear a joke? Tough."

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Why did the bus driver get arrested? Because he hijacked the bus.

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a Black Swan walks into a bar......,,,.she then has hallucinations and imagines herself having lesbian sex with Mila Kunis...

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What's funny about using a shake weight? It resembles masturbating with a penis.

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Roses are red violets are blue I have AIDS go get checked

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Jimmy went to a bar, to see a stand up comedian, he heard the standup comedian tell a funny joke, so after the show, he went home and told his wife the joke and after that he said, i made that up, im funny arent i, the wife seemed shifty, so she googled the joke and found the stand up comedians joke, giggled and then proceeded to continue back angrily to Jimmy, because he just did the wrong thing, she slapped Jimmy in the face, divorced Jimmy and killed his 3 children because Jimmy plagurised, and plagurism is illegal, and now Jimmy has no children, and a red mark on his cheek and knows he did the wrong thing don't smoke kids

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Another cat joke. You gotta be kitten me.

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(insert command here) Oh yeah, well I want world peace.

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Why does the Muslim go to Hollywood? Because he is gifted in acting. He believes Hollywood will give him a wider range of career opportunities.

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Stop shitting in my garden

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What did the african american ninja say to the jewish bartender? Can I have a beer?

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why did helen cellars dog runway. you would to if ur name was ujujujujjujujujujujj

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what's worse than getting a paper cut? Hiroshima

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A: Knock Knock! B: Who's There? A: I Am...

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Q: Why did the koala fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

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Why did the black man fall asleep in the unemployment line? Because he was dangerously fatigued from staying up all night weeping passionately into the arms of his wife after losing his high-earning job of twenty years after the CEO of the company declared bankruptcy and finding out that his only daughter was in the hospital in critical condition after her school bus flipped off a bridge.

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Why does Eli Manning play for the Giants? Because he is huge.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of a lake? Dead.

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Why did the milkman die? Because everyone dies.

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you: guess what somebody: what? you: you have cancer

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White people talk like this 'HEY' Black people talk like this 'YO' Hundreds of thousands died in the civil war.

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An old couple walks up to me and says, "can you take our picture? It's our 50th anniversary." I reply, "sure." Then I pull the man to the side and ask, "how do you make a relationship last so long? I can't make one last 50 days let alone years." He leans in and says, "cheat"

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How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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