What causes floods? Too much water.

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your mom

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Roses are red. I have OCD. That rose IS red right.. Let me check again.

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Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

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A little girl had a sleepover with her friends. They watched a movie, then went to bed at a reasonable time. /

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I made a sandwich Lol jk, my gf made it for me

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Q: What did Yoda do at the end of star wars when he lost his light saber? A: He asked the prop guy if he had any more and he happened to have another and they went on with making the great film many still love today.

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What happened when a boy used the wrong punctuation and grammar, plus forgot how to spell the word know? i dont ;now!!!!!!!!!

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Q. Why did the woman fall out of the tree? A. Cause she got laid

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WHY DID THE CHICKEN FART SO LOAD TO GET EVRYYBODY ATENTION

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What do you call a guy who has no experience flying a plane? Suicidal

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Nothing, he also had no parents.

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Why did you insult me and then punch me in the face? The hell if you care anymore, I killed you straight after. Neo-Nero. (Rest in peace Nero7 better known as The Moral Man, I hope I can one day live up to your greatness.) Moral: "Keep your spirits up, we are all going to die sometime, but life means nothing if we lose faith in ourselves and each other" Moral 2: "Nero Septimus, that will be my first and last moral that made a figment of fucking sense, if you are watching from whatever comes from life, I know that this is what you would have done, but just so you know and always wanted for us that followed you, I am doing this for my own goddamn fucking self, respects... Now if your ghost is still watching, get the fuck out of my room you damn cripple, and know that your arm is somewhere in the basement because its so goddamn bad ass that it fucking freaks me out, and so fucking heavy that I think you where some sort of superhuman, now gtfo, as you taught us, we cant focus on the goddamn afterlife, if we are gonna get the best out of life and the present, adios amigo"

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Hey I just met you And I am crazy So I will kill you And eat your body

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hardy har har.. i should be working on a school project right now!!

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What's worse than scraping your knee? Getting raped mercilessly by Ronald McDonald.

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What's black and white and red all over? A chess board; I lied about the "red all over" part.

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How much is a pet whale? $1350.99

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How do you get a firetruck to swerve uncontrollably? Shoot the driver with a 12 gauge.

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What happened to the black man when he was eating a Tootsie Roll? He ate the entire thing but was still hungry due to the empty calories.

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? To get to the body shop.

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Q) 1+1=? A) 6.

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Me: Ask me if im a penguin friend: are you a penguin? me: no.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Roses are green I'm bipolar

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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