While I was having sex... Just kidding, I can't get laid.

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Q: How many 3 go into the number 102,351? A: Yes.

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Whats Something everyone has except david? Money.

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Why didn't the Orphan finish his lemonade. His legs got chopped off.

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The class valedictorian is about to give his speech to the class. He has 6 fingers total, he is missing an ear, his left nostril is burned shut, and he must walk on crutches because of the severe injury to his left knee. How does the extremely cruel Principal of the school introduce him? "Please welcome Gregory Barnes, a brave soul that conquered a battle against death itself an won".

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Nothing, he also had no parents.

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Women's rights.

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hipsters

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What's worse than a bee sting? Getting shot in the head

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What happened when a boy used the wrong punctuation and grammar, plus forgot how to spell the word know? i dont ;now!!!!!!!!!

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Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7 is a serial killer.

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What's harder than nailing a baby to a tree? My penis whilst im doing it.

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why did the one handed man cross the road? to get to the secondhand shop.

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Why was the boy sitting alone? Because all his friends died.

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What did one manicotti say to the other manicotti? I doubt we'll ever know.

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Whats worse than getting dirt on your brand new J's Finding your girlfriend cheating on you with your Great Dane and realizing that he dose her better than you.

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Jim just got laid off at the office. He believes his life is going to hell, so he commits suicide. His wife then later was blamed for his death because they were having many arguments. She was sentenced to life and slowly rotted in prison for the rest of her life. Their children then are moved around from foster home to foster home and they grow up to be drug dealers.

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What's green and has wheels? a green car.

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Leave her alone...

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Two friends are arguing over who is the best pie maker. '' I've made pumpkin, apple, peach, cherry, blueberry, and sweet potato!" " Yeah well I've made all of those AND pecan!'' ''Yeah well have you ever made boysenberry pie?!" "No! What the hell!" *in a calm tone* " Yeah, me neither."

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how do you fit 20 babies into a bucket? you put them into a blender. how do you get them out? chips.

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Chad Wolbert is retarded.

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tea with milk?

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Knock Knock Who's there? No one. You're imagining things.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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