Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Stop shitting in my garden

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass...! I said "ass" a lot, sorry for the language

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A convict escapes a prison he's been in for 15 years. He's soon tracked down by police and put back in jail where he'll serve another 2 years of jail time along with his 5 remaining years.

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How much moss must a Moschops chop if a Moschops must chop moss?

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Guess what these words are: boo_s p_n_s _ _ ndom s_x fu_k wan_er Answers: books,pants,random,six,funk,wander.

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Straight men can be bronies.

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I am on a escalator.

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What did the Dog say to the Cat? Nothing, Cats and Dogs are of different species and can therefore not understand one another.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all walk into a bar. Because, often, friends go out together in social situations.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One of them I like to eat, and the other one is a watermelon.

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a potato flew around my room

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A Grape Soda inside a Chicken inside a Watermelon. Blackception.

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A man walks into a bar. He asked the bartender if he accepts $100 bills. The bartender says "no".

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Hearpin my durp

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Why did the bus driver get arrested? Because he hijacked the bus.

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What's the difference between dead babies and Christmas lights? I don't have Christmas lights hanging on my Christmas tree...

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what happened to the 4 year old girl who got stuck in the freezer? She froze.

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"How come dinosaurs don't talk?" " I don't know. Why?" " Because they're dead."

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A Elephant was going to fight against the biggest and toughest and meanest giant African desert mouse! The battle the animal kingdom had waited for centuries! *DING!* Elephant: Get up Mickey! Mouse: Squish! Disney: How big do you really think a African "giant" desert mouse is?

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What did the african american ninja say to the jewish bartender? Can I have a beer?

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What's green, long, and covered in forks? Grass. I lied about the forks.

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why do blonds write TGIF toes go in first

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Think about it: Is mexico REALLY full of: Lowrides in candy ass sparkly colors such as lip red that bounce, (manly color right? Yeah sure baggot) which contains a whole street war gang of members inside and at least twenty tons of COCAINA! ...But does not have a horn that plays "la cucaracha" Seriously, you say yes right? Hey look at this guy he said yes everybody, but ITS WROOOOOOONG CUCARACHA OR GTFO OF MEXICO! Yeah... Because Mexico is shit, id would be racist if Mexicans didn't agree...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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