- Anti Joke

text this number 2066191208 saying i wanna rape you

Roses are Red Violets are Black Why is your chest As flat as your back

whats worse than hitler? Anti-Jokes By darragh hamilton

Q : whats the most annoying thing on the earth with a big fore head ? A : Paige

I wouldn't touch ellen degeneres with a 10 foot lance. However, i would shake her hand with my hand. Lesson: 10 foot lances are no way to touch ppl.

Stephen Hawking raped your mom

What is brown and sticky? A stick

You.

How did the old man keep the kids off his lawn? By molesting their Moms.

How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1

Whats the best part about 23 year olds? Theres 20 of them

What's funny about 9/11? Nothing.

After saving my own life after killing my father, and saved my wife by killing my mother I feel free from their burden on my shoulders and am ready to face life... Yet in the back of my skull I keep thinking "After this anti-joke of a life, I wonder what`s next"... ...And HELL I AM READY FOR WHATEVER COMES! I SAVED MY OWN LIFE BY KILLING MY FATHER, I SAVED MY WIFE BY KILLING MY MOTHER (and breaking the wrists and legs kneecaps of her "boyfriend" as he attacked me, My father broke a vertebrae in my neck which has left my back twisted and in constant pain, my mother chopped of my arm when I was six and proceeded to beat the shit out of me with it leaving me with an ortopedic arm! WHAT THE FUCK COULD TAKE ME DOWN NOW? WHAT THE FUCK CAN STOP THE DEMON THAT IS LEFT IN ME! So MERRY Mtherfcking Christmas... My wife`s mother gave me 3000 dollars for christmas (deposited in account already) while my parents FORGOT my birthdays, and "forgot" to get me anything for christmas WHILE STILL GIVING MY BROTHER CHECKS AND PLANE TICKETS FOR HIM (AND HIS FRIENDS! Not me) FOR CHRISTMAS! They did however always invite me to my brothers birthday... Which is EXACTLY TEN DAYS AFTER MINE! I STOPPED REMINDING THEM OF THAT after they not only beat the SHIT out of me and WATERBOARDED me for reminding them... But also forgot it already the VERY NEXT DAY! They "bought" me christmas presents after I began working... WITH MY OWN MONEY! Not only that but they would get me a gift of 50 bucks while drawing out several thousand dollars from my account! SOME XMAS GIFT! Then my father faked my signature and withdrew 30.000 dollars from my savings... So a strange, salt liquid substance is dropping from my eyes as I actually get money and not permanent scars and crippling injuries while getting mugged from my mother in law instead... Which proves (at least to my psychiatric evaluator) that I am not insane nor a psychopath, but a caring guy with a fucked up life... Make no mistake though, step on my foot, and I will break yours and stick them up your ass... I am fucking scared of joining my wife and her family for christmas dinner, but what I fear today is bullshit compared to the torture which was my life until it was discovered that I was covering up for my mothers cocaine abuse and I was finally released from prison... (which was a great stay which I volutarily took as was 17 year old to get away from my mother). SO MERRY FUCKlNG XMAS EVERYBODY! Nero "Moral Man" aka Black Metal. My followers no longer call me twisted metal after hearing why I killed my "mommy and daddy". I am done with my rant, the nightmares might continue, but at least the age where I long for them rather than facing reality are over, so no more stories about how I broke my fathers skull and chocked my mother (one handed, remember the other is and ortopedic one because she chopped it off)... Nah, that is in my past. Judge me, hate me, find me and challenge me for a fight (rather do not) but dont tell me I am not metal as fuck. Oh and thumb me down, no seriously it makes me cry, yeeeeeees of course, seriously! Dont make me laugh... And I am a lawyer... Classes in prison (got an extended sentence for killing two guys there because they where going to rape me) So the future looks no darker than the future of a lawyer once again looking for a job... Nice try fucking me over family...

How are friends like bananas? If you peel off their skin and eat them, they die.

What do you call a bear with no fur? A taco.

What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

God is almighty, as such he ANSWERS TO NO ONE! Moral: What you praying for then bitch?

Why did the nerd cross the road?? BAZINGA!!!! xD

Why was the boy crying last night? - a clown raped him

why did the bus crash the driver was an alcoholic and was drunk he killed 8 people upon impact.

How did the mecanic die? He drowned

wots brown and smells like shite shite

Why did the beaver cross the road? To meet Justin Bieber!

What do you get when you mix a panda,oklahoma,and a handle? The oklahoma panhandle.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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