How do you get a clown of a swing? Hit it with an ax.

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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What did the dinosaur and John Wayne say to the Easter Bunny? Nothing, they're both dead and the Easter Bunny isn't real.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it can do whatever the hell it wants

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What do you get if you buy a big mac with a ten pound note? Change.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a blow up doll? The blonde is a person, you sexist asshole.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of a lake? Dead.

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Why did Jimmy through a glass at spouse? Jimmy was an abusive husband who had a tendancy to drink too much.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road Because the light said don't walk

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

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A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

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What did the girl say when she arrived at the party? "I like what you did with the furniture!"

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What is black and white and red all over? Two Nuns in a chainsaw fight.

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Knock knock Who's there This is the police, open the door. I don't know anybody by that name

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what would Michael jakson do if he was alive? scream and hit the top of his coffin

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how many horses does it take to piss on a cat 17 beccause rape isnt real in somalia

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why did the monkey fall out the tree? he lost his grip

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Anthony Dephillips is handsome

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What do you call a fish that isn't moving? Dead.

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why does one side of a v-flock of geese have more birds? Because it does.

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Your moms so poor that when she went to buy a bag of chips, she couldn't buy the bag of chips, because she didn't have enough money to buy the bag of chips

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Knock Knock ... guess nobody's home.

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what did the blind deaf orphan get for christmas? cancer

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What is 0+0? 0, I am not dumb

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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