Why did the tree stay home from school? Because, trees don't have school.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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Billy Corgan: The world is a vampire! Me: No it's not. The world is a mass of mineral compounds that floats in space approximately 93,020,000 miles from the sun. It is not, in fact, a vampire.

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There is a man with the surname of Westmoreland. This is a terrible name.

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Why did the gay man die? He had AIDS

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GIRL: Honey, for a holiday we should go someplace nice BOY: How will that work, none of us speak Mexican...

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How do you make a mother at the playground cry? You steal her 3 year old daughter

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how do you make your mom mad? mushroom stamp her face

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What's the difference between a fine wine and a dead baby in a blender? One gets better as it ages, and the other is a horrific accident.

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what is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? -one is the chosen people of Isreal and one is a food that was founded in Italy

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

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Ask me if you can see my dinosaur. Can I see your dinosaur? No dinosaurs don't exist sillyhead!

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Have you ever heard the story of Mikey Braford? Every morning when he was little, his father would fill a gym sock with nickels and beat him with it. Mikey has severe attachment disorder and frequent suicidal thoughts.

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A jewish man, a black man, and a redhead walk into an electronics store. Because they work there.

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An atheist walks into a church

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Why are elephants gray? So you don't get them confused with blueberries.

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a dollhouse in her backyard? Neither did she.

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Why did the gecko cross the road.... Because he saw great deals on car insurance!!!

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what did the police do when they saw an arab running towards a building? Watched him run by because he was probably late for something

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What's worse than dropping a dollar down the drain? Getting your nipple ripped off by a pair of pliers

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politically correct!

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This is not mean't to be a joke, but I have noticed the least popular thing on here is the Jew and the Pizza joke. I am Jewish and find this extremely offensive. I applaud all of those who gave it a negative vote and realize the Holocaust is not a laughing matter.

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It's only racist if you consider them people.

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what did the boy say to the girl? make me a sandwich.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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