"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "No."

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how do you kill a little girl? seeing as murder is a federal offence i will not tell you how. you should be ashamed for asking.

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Why did the depressed teenager die? Because he had cancer.

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I once went seven years without sex, then I turned eight and my uncle raped me.

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What do you call a black man running with a TV? A hard working individual who is in a rush to watch his new TV that he bought.

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What's a pirate's favorite school subject? Pirate math.

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What did the black man say to the white man? Hi im phill

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Why did carly drop her groceries Carly is a cow

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What did pinocchio want to become? Hepatitus free.

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Roses are red my name is Dave this poem makes no sense, micorwave

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What is the difference between a car and dead babies? The car is legally obtainable by law and can run on gasoline, when dead babies are nonliving humans, and the owner of which would most likely be sent to jail.

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a black kid goes and gets some cereal and spills some flower on him self and he goes to his grandma and says look grandma i`m white and then she slaps him he goes to his grandpa and says look grandpa i`m white and then he slaps him and then he goes to his mom and then says look mom i`m white and then she slaps him then he goes to his dad and then says dad i`ve been white for 20 minutes and i all ready hate yall nigas

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A jewish lady is cleaning a house to make some extra money. Its great that she can still find work in this economy.

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Why'd the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Knock Knock -Who's there I eat mipe -I eat mipewho hahahah -Oh I'm gonna beat your ass

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Dogs in my home.

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Roses are white Violets are black I'm colorblind That is sad

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What did one hipster say to the other hipster? I'm not a hipster.

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Whats the worst part of your school burning down? A: The burnt pizza.

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Why don't women need watches? Because most people carry cell phones that tells them the time making watches redundant and obsolete.

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Mitt Romney.

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what did one tree say to the other? move over

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what is worse tahn finding a worm in your apple? finding hitler in your house.

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Rigo your a stupid ass

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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