Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because the burglars tied her up and gagged her before they robbed the house and she couldn't do anything until one of the neighbors found her and untied her.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Wanna know something funny? Your face

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Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.

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Q: Why did the bird fall out of the tree? A: It was dead Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the bird

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What's funnier than 24? 25

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third guy ducks.

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Why did the little kid color outside the lines? He had Parkinson's Disease.

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How do you baby sit a black child? Entertain him with stimulating games to help with his cognitive growth.

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Q: Wgat did Batman say to Robin before Robin got in the car? A: "Robin, get in the car"

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What do u call a short Mexican Nothing that's normal

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Scenario: Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub The first one says, "Hey, can you pass the radio please" And the second one replies, "Sorry, my cousins are made of soap."

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How do you kill the circus? You chop it's head off.

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why did the chicken cross the street? he couldn't, he lives in a rural area on a farm where there are no streets

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An atheist walks into a church

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Two men go hunting and one has a sudden heart attack. The other man calls 911 and immediately tells the operator his location and the nature of the emergency. Rescue workers arrive on the scene in a timely manner and the man makes a full recovery.

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whats faster than the speed of light? a jew with a coupon

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Why did the man throw the woman off the cliffe? Tequilla.

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Knock knock Who's there? You're adopted.

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What do you call a barrel full of monkeys? A game, you idiot.

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a man is having trouble getting onto the internet on his home computer. so he he calls a computer technician to help him. \

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What's big,long,and mostly men use it? A submarine

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how do you make your mom mad? mushroom stamp her face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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