How much does a fat penguin weigh? 45 kilograms.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you get if you cross a bulldog with a schitzu? A half breed prone to allergies and breathing problems.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

You Know Wats Funny? Jokes....

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the plane crash and everybody die on board? The plane crashed because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

WHERE WAS THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENTENTS AT THE BOTTEM!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A man sees a bum laughing. He asks the bum "Why are you laughing", at which point the bum replies "I'm a bum!"

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A Jew and a Nazi walk into a bar... 1 year later they are married with a baby on the way

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

No, we got to speak now, or you know, never.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the girl scream at old people? She had turrets. www.youtube.com/LouisGames www.twitch.tv/KiLM_Ghostz

thumb_up thumb_down +27

womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Can a man reproduce with only one testicle? No because girls don't dig that sh*t

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What is 0+0? 0, I am not dumb

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q: What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A: What do you call a Jew with only one arm on Christmas? B: An amputee.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A very unattractive girl bent over in front of me. I proceeded to be sick, and then I choked on my sick. I died. My family mourn my death every day.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How many gay men does it take to change a lightbulb? Usually, it takes one gay male to complete this action.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How many anti-jokes does it take to change a light bulb? Since anti-jokes are not concrete objects, any change would have to occur metaphorically or abstractly. The number of anti-jokes required would then be irrelevant.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? 12:00

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's the difference between an elephant and a toaster. A lot of things.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q: Have you heard from that guy who dropped a piano on his head? A: No one has, he dropped a piano on his head.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A dislexic man walks into a bra. He then proceeds to enjoy the breasts that he has stumbled upon.p

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Mindfuck: They call you a patient where medics are because they do not want you to become impatient. The Coronel is the Kernel of the army (coronel sounds a lot like coronel no?) Sergeant = Sir gent. as in Sir gentle(man) Ok, so if you experience insanity one day, does that make you insane forever? In that case I was born and will die hungry and thirsty. Sigmund Freud= Sickman fraud. General: The guy you should generally listen to if you are in the army. 3.14 ratebay = PIRATE BAY! Why is Satan the antichrist, humans killed him :P Satan only "tempted his thirsty brother with water at the desert" Jesus showed real power by saying "NO WATER WHEN I AM THIRSTY IS BAD FROM MY BROTHER!"

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops