Why couldn't Mike answer the phone on time? On his way to the phone he was shot and killed.

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress

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A little boy starts to be followed by a man in a large white van. They come across an intersection, the boy turns left, and the man turns right.

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Do you know what's not right? Left.

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A guy walks into a bar, but a metal bar, he hurts his head, he goes to the hospital to get an x-ray, Turns out he hard a brain tumor, He died the next day,

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Knock, Knock Who's There? (Silence) Wondering who was there, the man opened the door, to find a baby in a basket in front of him.

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Your Mom.

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What is the difference between a rock and a pencil? Your Mom.

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There are four dead people on a boat. They commit suicide. Why did they commit suicide. To get to the other side!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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Why was the little boy late to church? He was getting raped by the priest. ....the priest was late too.

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what did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

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Why can't T-rex give hih fives, Because they're dead...

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Whats the difference between babies and basketballs? You cant unload a truck of basketballs with a pitchfork.

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There are three types of people in this world: The stupid. And the ones that can't count.

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Four blonds are driving to Disney World when they come across a sign that says Disney World left... So they take the left and enjoy themselves at the place many considered the most wonderful place in the world.

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Some people like melon and others like soup.

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why are you people on anti-joke? BECAUSE you have NO LIFE !

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What do you call a Fish without the I? Astyanax mexicanus, or the Blind Cave variant of the Mexican tetra

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What's worse than 10 babies in one trash can? One baby in 10 trash cans.

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What did one child say to the other child? We both are kids.

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On Friday the 13th,I had one of those dreams of when you go to school in your underwear. I then realised it wasn't a dream.

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What's one thing good about cancer? (make them guess) Nothing you fricking prick!

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two elderly men were sitting in the sun discussing their lives. The first man says "my life was horrible as I had to walk to work uphill in the snow with no boots on a daily basis" The second man looks at the first and replies "you know why my life was horrible?.. I was born a jewish man in Germany during the second world war and was injustly judged and harrassed nearly to death on a daily basis"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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