Why did the man fall from the sky? Because he was dead.

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So two clowns walk into a bar... . . . . . . . . . . They died

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I died shortly after writing this.

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An Englishmen, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar, and ordered a beer. They later went home and slept. They woke up the next morning with a slight hangover.

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A fish finds that his fishbowl is on fire. He escapes the bowl only to realize he is equally screwed.

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What is green and has weels? A green bycicle.

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roses ar red vilots ar blue i have hiv

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Dad: "Happy birthday, son! Let's go get a beer." Timmy: "But dad, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are, we hope that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing.” Timmy's mom had just died of cancer a few days ago. A friend walks in the door, not knowing Timmy's mom died just a few short days before his birthday. He screams, "Happy birthday!" TImmy: "Damn. I'm not going through this again."

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels at the loss of their firstborn child.

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why did the kid get a bad grade he didnt study

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What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.

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How do you make Mandy Ann shut up? Clown Car

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It's a man's 100th birthday, and as one of his last wishes he wants to go skydiving. Unfortunately, due to his crippling arthritis, he was unable to pull the rip cord on his parachute and plummeted to his death.

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Why did the pedophile get arrested? He was driving way over the speed limit.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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Why did the girl put on make-up and perfume? Because she was ugly and smelled bad.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? why? Womens rights

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven has a hook for one of his hands carries a chain saw in the other an gets into six's dreams...thats just scary

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Roses are Grey Violets are Grey lolololol Im a dog

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Why did the baboon fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Whats the differance between a lawnmower and a sack of dead babies? I dont have a lawnmower in my garage

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Why can't Helen Keller hear? She's dead

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If you have 5 dollars, and Chuck Norris has 5 dollars, you are both very poor.

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Your mom is so fat that when she went to the Doctors, He said she was slightly over weight

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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