What do you call a black man who walks into a jail cell? A hard working and dedicated police officer who was just putting his first offender in jail.

Why couldn't the blonde fix the lightbulb? It was shattered.

How did Hitler fit 100 Jews in his car? Ashes don't take up much space.

Two english guys meet at work

Where do black people ride bicycles? In the Pedestrian Zone.

What happened after jimmy cheated on a test. Jimmy went home.

Q-What did the hobo get for Christmas? A-Pneumonia.

Why was the baby smoking? He was locked in a hot car.

My grandmother always said "slow and steady wins the race."...... She died in a fire

When life gives you melons, you're dyslexic.

A man walks into a bar, he begins drinking and returns home visably drunk. His family disowns him as he is a recovering alchoholic who was three months sober.

Ask me if I am a bus. Are you a bus? No.

A man walks into a bar and sees a large jar filled to the brim with $20 bills. He asks the bartender why there is so much money in the jar, and the bartender tells him that he has a horse in the back of the building, and he has a bet that if someone puts $20 in the jar and can make the horse laugh, then they will win all the money. The man, feeling confident, puts his money into the jar and tries to make the horse laugh. It is a horse, so of course he cannot make it laugh. He leaves, dejectedly, having just wasted 20 of his hard earned dollers.

No, I do not have the will, I have a family now, I make a living writing fiction, and well, play a small role in keeping not national, but worldwide stability in such things as the economics. The thing is, that you are renegades, you do not break the law, but you like to do things your own way, that gets you enemies among the so called "paragons" in the face of society and media. Its just like back in the days, if CIA, The Feds, Interpol and such are known as the "Paragons of civilization" or "the good guys" if you prefer, they can point towards you guys, and say "these are evil", and then nothing can stop them.

Why did the Jew wear a beanie while playing soccer? Because he shaved his head

If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Digress

what has 4 legs but can't walk? a paralyzed dog

What do you call a joke without a punchline?

What do you call a guy who has no experience flying a plane? Suicidal

Man: Are you tired Woman: No why? Man: You have bags under your eyes and you just yawned a minute ago

What's the difference between a model and a baby? I didn't have sex with a model last night.

"KNOCK KNOCK". I opened the door to greet my guests for the party.

How many Aumish farmhands does it take to operate a state of the art commercial laser-cutter? One,provided he has the relevant training and experience.

Why did the girl scream? Someone shot her mom

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...