roses are red, violets are blue, i have Alzheimer's, CHEESE ON TOAST

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what goes up and down , and left and right all day without breaking a sweat? A compass, get your mind out of the gudder.

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1: Knock. Knock. 2: Don't come in I'm naked.

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Roses are red Violets are blue So is your face Cuz I just gagged you

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What's worse than spending time with your girlfriend? Nothing.

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Wanna know something funny? Your face

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Whos allergic to BS You R! :D

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered sex offender.

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What's the difference between watermelon and baby? I don't eat watermelon.

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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A

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I had sex with your mom. It was f*cking terrible.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing-set? She had no arms. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Where do cows go for entertainment? Nowhere, most are slaughtered, processed, and eaten by humans.

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you know what they say about men with big feet... damn you got some big feet.

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yo mamma's so fat, she decided to go on a diet

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what's the difference between 7 and 2? 5

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This guy says: "Doctor doctor, it hurts when I do this!" He jiggles his arm and screames in pain. The doctor replies: "Well, don't do it then!"

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In the weeks following the original release of Die Hard, reports sprung up across the nation of impressionable boys overdosing while masturbating.

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What did the overweight blind kid get for Christmas? His parents died in a tragic car crash and he was left alone, fat and blind to fend for himself

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Why did the man try to lick his elbow? Because he read a chain email saying no one could lick their elbow and he wanted to see if it was true. You will probably try to do it now too.

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knock knock. come in.

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A king's son's birthday came one day and the king asked what he wanted. "You can have anything in the world son." He would say. The prince answered,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." So for his birthday he got a rollar costar, a new car, a water park, a castle, and of corse some purple ping pong balls. The same answer went out of his mouth for three years. One day the prince was driving in his car, and he got into a terrible car accadent. And while he was in the ER and saying his last words, his father asked,"Son, before you die, i must know, why did you want purple ping pong balls for your all of those birthdays?" And the prince said,"Well I wanted them because-" and then he died.

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A man walks into a bar and walks up to the counter. The bartender looks the man up and down and asks "Can I help you?" "Ya, get this guy off my ass" the duck promptly replies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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