What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Hi.

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How do you wake up Lady GAGA? A sludge hammer!

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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Police say's 'have you been drinking' and you reply back saying 'YES' then the police brings out the blower and you blow, it says on it that you are fine, but then the cops ask you 'what did you drink' and you just say 'well i drank juice for breakfast then had some water, tea, coffee' the cops get really angry but before he says anything you say that ' I AM MUSLIM'

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A man met a genie that granted him three wishes. I wish I could fly. The genie gave him a plane ticket. No, I want to really fly for real! The genie put him inside a plane. Okay, I wish I was unable to die then! The genie killed him. Moral: Not every story needs to make a fucking sense.

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Shoulda had a V8 ...or not because I am severely allergic to tomato's.

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how do you make old people hate eachother? put them in a night time psychology class

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whats Mario's favorite kind of jeans? Denim, denim, denim.

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Why did the man fall over...he had a stroke!

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third guy ducks.

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Wow did you see stevie wonder's new house. neither has he

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Why do seagulls fly over seas? Because if they flew over bays they'd be called bagels.

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Why do jewish women like to get their sons circumcised? They like anything 25% off.

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How do you keep children off your front lawn? Molest them.

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Wat is brown and sticky? A stick

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why are black people so good at basketball? Because all they have to do is shoot, steal, and run.fctswity (sultably

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Time is irrelevant in this scenario because if this question is based in the United States it is highly unlikely an elephant will be near a fence you own, let alone sit on it, an activity rarely done by elephants and usually projected by humans onto other animals.

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- What's the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator? - The refrigerator doesn't fart when you take your meat out.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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Make little things count Teach midgets math

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Why did the chicken cross the road? he wanted to.

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Whats green and looks like eggs? Green eggs.

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Why was the white man poor? Because he could not hold a stable job for his wife and kids.

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Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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