Why did the chicken cross the road? because potatos are invading russia

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Kathy Griffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's one thing good about cancer? (make them guess) Nothing you fricking prick!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why does mexico not have an Olympic team? They do

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Sidney Crosby comes face-to-face with Alex Ovechkin. The Penguins were playing the Capitals.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the tree catch on fire? A phinix hit it!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the elephants get in a taxi? They were going to the airport.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What type of ruler lies? A shatter resistant one

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Knock knock. "Who's there?" I am deaf. "I am deaf who?" What?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 27

thumb_up thumb_down +23

why does one side of a v-flock of geese have more birds? Because it does.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Teacher: Billy what do you want to be when you grow up? Billy: A fireman! Teacher: Tommy what do you want to be when you grow up? Tommy: 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you get when you cross a joke and a rhetorical question?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why didn't the chicken cross the road Because the light said don't walk

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's the difference between a dead baby and an apple? I don't cum on an apple before I eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A gay guy and a blind man walk into a bar. It's a gay bar. The blind man is also gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What is the Pope's favourite dish to order from the local Indian take-away? Korma.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call a beagle and an eagle mixed together? A beagle.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Your mother is so stupid that she has an IQ score that is much lower than the average person.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How can you tell if your goldfish is male or female? Put some fishfood in the bowl, if he swims to the food it's a male, if she swims to the food it's a female.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? not having an apple to find a worm im

thumb_up thumb_down +21

1 man walks up to a tiger and eats cheese toast with brownies and butter and wonders about the stars the end james

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the milkman die? Because everyone dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops