How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb? Depends on how big the lightbulb is

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Want to get shot? Go to Virginia Tech. Too Soon?

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why is the guy fat? Because he eats too much.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Whats the XBOX JUAN's most popular game. Call of Juarez!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why couldn't the boy sing? The boy could sing, but the thick layer of duct tape prevented him from doing so.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What goes in dry, comes out wet and pleases two people. A teabag, you pervert.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Whats green and looks like eggs? Green eggs.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the man not want to be a tree? Because he didn't want to.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Roses are red Violets are blue Roses can also be white And violets can also be purple

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

thumb_up thumb_down +25

There's a car about to hit me.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What kinds of children go to heaven dead ones

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Knock Knock Who's there? A bag of burning crap.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the black kid get for his birthday? Yo bike!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

You're Adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q- Who is the life of the party? A- hannah schane

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? He had no arms… Why did he have no arms? Jimmy was a potato

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

96

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the man get a haircut? Because he had long hair.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops