Justin Bieber is having sex with a girl. He then awakes from this horrible nightmare.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Hello! Echo! My name is Ed!

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Two hillbillies are sitting in a van. It's friday and one of them suggests they should play a game of 20 Questions. The other one agrees. The first hillbilly thinks of the word 'donkey dick'. - Is it something you can eat? the second hillbilly asks. - Yes, the first one replies. - Is it a donkey dick? - Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Canada AYY

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What did Frodo do when he realized that he needed to destroy the ring? He simply walked into Mordor

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Maturity is a virtue.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

What are little Timmy's hopes and dreams? Destroyed.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

What a person such as you would say. Anyway, did you notice how I started by emulating your way of typing, spelling, spacing and so on?

thumb_up thumb_down -60

united we sit, cause we're fat

thumb_up thumb_down +61

what did the short man say to the shoe? i sincerely hope that someone wouldn't try to carry a conversation with an inannnimate object, or else he is socially disturbed

thumb_up thumb_down +61

How do you fit a homosexual man into a small card board box? You cut him into pieces.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

It's a man's 100th birthday, and as one of his last wishes he wants to go skydiving. Unfortunately, due to his crippling arthritis, he was unable to pull the rip cord on his parachute and plummeted to his death.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

This is a joke

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!" Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS." "Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient. "You've also got Alzheimer's Disease." Looking relieved the patient says, "Oh...Well, that's not so bad. At least I don't have AIDS."

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What is quite heavy and if it falls off a tree and hits you in your head you die? A sheets packet

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Why didn't the woman believe in God? Her own personal beliefs.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: a pizza is a food that was created in italy and is regularly eaten daily around the world and a jew is a religion that is constantly criticized and made fun of because they are different.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Dad: "Happy birthday, son! Let's go get a beer." Timmy: "But dad, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are, we hope that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing.” Timmy's mom had just died of cancer a few days ago. A friend walks in the door, not knowing Timmy's mom died just a few short days before his birthday. He screams, "Happy birthday!" TImmy: "Damn. I'm not going through this again."

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Woman's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down +45

So an irishmen, jewish, and asain walk into the bar...and the bartender said get out..

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic, so to make his activities in the bar into a joke would be disrespectful and inconsiderate.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why did the man jump off a cliff? Because he was committing suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops