Q: Why did the bird fall out of the tree? A: It died. Q: Why did the snake fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the bird. Q:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

How do you make a Russian baby cry? Punch it in the face

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

An unarmed man robbed a bank today, he failed because he had no way of carrying the cash out.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Lethal injection is a lot more humane than the electric chair. I know because nobody's complained about it yet.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What isn't funny? The holacost.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels at the loss of their firstborn child.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

There once was a man from Nantucket. He loved working with tourists.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why was the child lying in the scrap yard? because he was being torn apart by guard dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Q: What is George Harrison's favorite hairstyle? A: How can we know? He's dead!

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is blind and is a women, who are notoriously bad drivers.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What do you call a black man eating fried chicken? By his name, which could be John, considering the popularity of said name.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What do you get when you eat all potatoes Their all gone

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What happened when the man stuck his hand in the blender? Nothing, it was turned off.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why didn't the family go through the door? Because it was a window.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What do a platypus and Obama have in common? A brain, except for Obama.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

How do you fit 100 jews in a car? It wouldn't work.. Nevermind.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Q: how do you make a baby blow bubbles? A: hold it under water, or as an alternative you could hold it under its twin sisters blood.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A horse walks into a bar and orders a drink. (Don't ask me how that's possible, just go with it) As the bartender is pouring it, he asks "Why the long face?" The horse responds "My son died of cancer this morning..."

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A man calls 911 911: hello? Man: sorry wrong number.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A little boy starts to be followed by a man in a large white van. They come across an intersection, the boy turns left, and the man turns right.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Did you hear about the guy who fell out of the stands at the ranger game? He died.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

There is a bomb. It blows up and kills 26 people.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops