what do you call a man with three eyes and eleven fingers? his name

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You're so ugly you got rejected from the zoo.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender asks the rabbi "why the long face?" The rabbi says "to get to the other side." Seeing the puzzled look on the bartender's face, the priest says, "orange you glad he didn't say banana?"

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How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb? Generally one, however, in cases where the light fixture is unusually high, a ladder may be necessary. Some people like having a second person hold the ladder as they climb it. In this unconventional circumstance, it would take precisely two Jews to change a lightbulb. Also, Jews are bad people.

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A black guy, a Jew, and a Mexican jump out of a plane. Who dies first? Well, judging by the fact that black people in general have a higher body mass, the black man most likely would smash into the ground first.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why didnt she get back up? She had no friends.

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Why didn't the firefighter put out the fire? Because he wasn't a very good firefighter.

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guess what my nephew said today? oh ya i forgot, hes dead..

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whats is big, black, and has big boobs. a big black guy. the boob part was a little white lie

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You have never had sex because.... Well, look in the mirror and you'll see for yourself -Matt

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what do you call a fish with no eyes? fsh

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A human walked into a bar, The bartender quacked, "quack quack quack" The human wondered why all the patrons and the bartender were ducks, so he left the bar, before his head spontaneously exploded.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey Nick!" Because he knows him and is not racist.

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How many watermelons did the black man have? Too many to count, he was a farmer and his primary crop was watermelons.

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How do you you know when you haven't slept in a while? You're tired.

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Why did the Filipino man get small condoms? Because he's not black.

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So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

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Once upon a time, there were two brothers jumping on a bed. Q: The one stopped. Why? A: His brother fell off, cracked his head, started uncontrollably bleeding and died.

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Why did the mother cross the road? To find her dead baby that was hit the night before.

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POO IS LARGE WHEN IT COMES OUT OF ME

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So, these two antennas were getting married. The wedding was great, but the reception was terrible!

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What do you call a blue penquin dipped in chocolate doing the samba? A blue penquin dipped in chocolate doing the samba!

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What did Coke say to Pepsi? "Hello."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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