A Squirrel gets ready for hybernation. 21 You Stupid

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A man with a white bed sheet on his body and head grimaced at a black man. He said to the black man, can you help me with my ghost costume? Something in the back is poking me and it hurts.

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A man walks into a bar and says "ow"

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pickle juice?

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Bill:Ask me to do something. Bob:Go get me a beer Bill:Would you like fries with that?

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if a fat man in a red suit puts you in a bag at night. its not santa your getting raped

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What's the difference between a McDonald's and Michael Jackson? One is a fast FOOD restaurant, while the other likes having sex with little boys.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the World Chicken Road Crossing Competition.

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Three surfers paddle out into the surf. They had a pretty good time, except one of them got a shit ton of water up his nose.

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What did the Priest say to the Rabbi? Nothing. The Priest was mute and the Rabbi was deaf.

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How do you get a dog off of your roof? Shoot it.

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How do you kill 23 kids? You put 24 kids in an arena.

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A large man goes into a restaurant and places his order The waiter asks if he would like the weight watchers menu He says no because he doesnt care about his weight

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Dani barton= lovely

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Row row row your boat Right to KFC Put some kool-aid in your cup And toast to you and me

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Struggling with self esteem? Wish you were more attractive? Well stop wishing you fugly cum dumpster.

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when your cable is on the fritz, you play video games instead. when you play video games, you get good. when you get good, you go to COD XP. when you go to COD XP, you lose to whiteboy 7th st. when you lose to whiteboy 7th st., you get into Skyrim. when you get into skyrim, you reenact cut scenes from skyrim. and when you reenact cut scenes from skyrim... ...you take an arrow to the knee... ...don't take an arrow to the knee. Get rid of cable.

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What did one hostage say to the other hostage? Hrmfhrmfphmfr

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Jesus said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But, John came fifth and won a toaster.

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What do you call a man who buys flowers, chocolates, and new jewelry for his wife? A kind, considerate husband.

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Two mooses were sitting in a tree, minding their own business, when suddenly a submarine came flying. "He probably lives here." The first moose said to the other.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names! *ba dum chzz*

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whats worse than being ugly? being aivy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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