what does a man with no leg say to a woman with one eye? hello. by Mad James

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Why did the blond couldn't put a piece of meat into her mouth? Because she was vegetarian.

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Two blonds are driving to Disneyland. While there driving they see a sign "Disneyland: left" So they started crying and headed back home.

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What's something 9/10 people enjoy? A gang rape.

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In Soviet Russia, it is the largest country in the world. A lot of the parts are uninhabitable though.

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Why is a bulldog so aggressive Because it was raised for dog fights in basements Dog fights aren't right kids, and you should never get involved but if you find yourself in the cage fighting one of the dogs, you should really think about how you got there.

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Why did Gus go to the HC? Because he got high off his ass.

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BOOBALANBOO

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what do you get when you cross an African with a Rhinoceros? A rhinoceros.

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Why did the man's legs start shaking when he saw the attractive women? There was an earthquake

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A. Do you know what they call Bing Crosby in Sweden? B. No. A. Bing Crosby.

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If life throws you melons, you might be dyslexic..

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Your mums a penis joke.

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knock knock who's there i lost my wallet my nan died

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everyone. - Blake Woodman

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How long does it take a black woman to take a shit? Why in the world would you want to know something like that? But anyway, the answer is somewhere, on average, between 10 seconds and 15 minutes. It really varies and conditions like irritable bowel syndrome and constipation affect this range. Actually it takes about 9 months.

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A woman walks into the bathroom and hears the sound of moaning. Not sure what to do she looks around and sees couples as far as the eye can see. She quickly turns to the woman and man standing next to her and asks what is going on here?! The woman says can't you read this is not a bathroom this is a public sex room! Only an idiot would ask that question. In shock the woman takes another look around and she spots someone she finds familiar. When she walks closer she finds that it is her boyfriend and that he is with another woman. Furious she walks up to him and slaps him in the face. The boyfriend looks at her and says sorry your sex just got old. Furious she says to him we never had sex!

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Two chemists walk into a bar. The first one says "I'll have some H2O." The second one then says "I'll have some H2O too." Both chemists live as no bartender is irresponsible enough to serve liquid hydrogen peroxide in a public bar.

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What did Madeline McCann get for Christmas? Nothing she's dead.

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How many dead babies can fit in a dead horse 11

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How do you make a baby float? Take your foot of its head.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a registered six affender.

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WELCOME TO THE SECRET BEYOND THE SIXTH SENSE! 1, Sound 2. sight 3.touch 4.Smell 5.Taste. 6.Balance? :(

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Q. What did tthe little kid say when the bully punched him? A. Ow.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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