Why can't Brent speak at the moment? Because he is eating his ice-cream.

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O'Malley, an Irishman; Adam, a Jew; and Patrick, a gay man, walk into a bar. Oh crap. I just outed Patrick.

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why did the dog jump into the pool? because the cat was chasing him

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Q: What did the blonde woman say? A: My hair is blonde

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A treadmill... did I mention he was kinda fat?

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Women.

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Homosexuals are gay.

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A Irishman walks into a bar... he suffers severe head injuries.

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Hey I just met? you and this is crazy I have alzheimers Hey I just met you

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What is the difference between a black man and a white man? The pigment in their skin.

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A dog is walking down the street. The dog catcher promptly arrives and takes him to the pound. Two months later the dog is in a new, happy home with a wonderful family.

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What' do you call a fart in a box? Your mom's puzsy

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What's the best Medieval job? A Jester because you get to play with balls all day.

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Why did Janie miss school today? Because she fell in a well.

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girls basketball

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Ill do a lot more than just try you, anyways, technically I learned to play the piano as a kid, but now I play on a small cheap keyboard (the musical kind) and sincerely, I kinda suck at it now, my abusive parents expected perfection beat the shit out of me blahblahblah, thats really all of it, trauma. My senses, well, when I was a kid I was terrified of gravity (one of the rarest fears in the world) because I had no idea I was consciously shifting things myself. So lets say... If I somehow end up hanging upside down, I just shift it, so my brain believes I am not and I experience no discomfort, there is a lot more to it, ill tell you, damn nose wont stop bleeding and my waifu got a bit scared, she got some bad bronchitis and she still has not recovered a 100 percent, but its just the cough now though... Lets just say that my ability to balance, is about 300-500 percent higher than any regular human, and that I can stand on one leg enough to beat the guiness record book 50 times... ...IIIIF I was in good shape, which I am not.

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A chickens walks into a bar... And greets her fellow friends

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Your mom's so old she sometimes uses outdated racial slurs loudly in public. It can get pretty embarrassing.

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A man walks into a pet store. He then says "This isn't the bar" and leaves.

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Why couldn't the basketball player jump anymore? Because he broke his back.

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My mom gave me a quarter. I tryed to spend it on bubblegum but 7-11 said no...

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Why didn't the boy get what he wanted for christmas? His parents had killed him.

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How did the snail travel around the world without any help from a transportation device? Sadly, it didn't. The snail is incapable of this kind of long distance travel due to it's small size, lack of speed and short lifespan.

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 5 black guys? D-12.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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