I walked into a bar the other day and ordered a double. The bartender brought out a guy who looked just like me.

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What do you get when you have sex with a $10 prostitute? Nothing, she's clean. She may be low-scale, but she'll be damned if she's not careful.

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Whats worse than finding a spider in your shower? Getting repeatedly stabbed in the dick by a rapid chipmunk.

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- My grand mother died. - I'm sorry.... Did She died of old age ? - No, she got eaten by a giant worm.

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Men, get on the boat.

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Knock, Knock... Who's there? Your mother and I are getting a divorce.

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Q. How did the blind man survive from walking of a cliff? A. He didn't he died

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Deadly cancer.

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an abosolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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Their is a stripper, a prostitute, and a pole dancer on a plane that is about to crash. They all die.

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Q: what did a kid in harlem get for christmas? A: nothing he got shot

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? A pair of broken sunglasses, because his parents didn't care about him, and because he lived in Hawaii where it is very hot in December. Plus the kid's blind. By Nikhil Sridhar of Taikoo Shing, Hong Kong.

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A little boy and a pedafile are walking through the forest at night. The little boy says "I'm scared." The pedafile says "You're scared? I have to walk home alone."

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What is the square-root of pi? ?pi

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what do you call a blonde who can't drive? a poor driver

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What do you call a fat man that can turn slim REALLY fast? Drew Carey

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Why can't Jimmy talk? He's dead.

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What do call a limbless man swimming? Dead.

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What did the officer say to the black man? You're under arrest.

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--Knock Knock Who's there? --Banana Banana who? --Knock Knock You just said that --Sorry i have Alzheimer's

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Why did Hitler kill six million Jews? Because one of them looked at him funny.

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What happened when john pelted susie with a rock? she had a temporary concusion, needed eight stitches and John was grounded

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how many black people are... wait stereotypical jokes are for fags

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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