What do you do when life gives you lemons? Make some fucking lemonade.

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What's round and red? A red and round solid.

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I had a dream, then i died in it and now i'm dead but who cares, how are you ?

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Why wasn't the black guy allowed into the bar? Because the bar was closed.

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What's yellow and lays in a tree? Tweety the Whore

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when im sad im feel horny i rape little children -jimmy saville , last words of the diary

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Did you hear about the sale on the toyota cars from japan? if you can get it out of the water its free!

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"It smells like up dog in here." "What's up dog?" "Not much, what's up with you?"

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A blonde walks into a store and tells the clerk "I'd like to buy that microwave". The clerk says "we don't sell things to blondes.". The blonde comes in the shop the next day with a brown wig on and says "I'd like to buy that microwave". The clerk says "we don't sell things to blondes". The blonde asks how he knew she was a blonde. The clerk replies, "I can see flyaway strands of your hair from the top of your wig and the synthetic hair material of the wig is not convincing.

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Guess what my grandma told me yesterday.. Nothing she's dead.

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wow such mark very mark many mark so mark

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Roses are red Violets are blue Roses are green I'm bipolar

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How did the magician make it look like there are 2 books on the table? By putting 2 books on the table

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What do you call a middle-aged man at a preschool? A teacher.

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What happened when the boys visited Penn State? They got toured around campus and decided that it would be their future college.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Less than you cuz your fat.

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why did the cow eat the seahorse/ because my shift keys are broken1

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Whats big brown and sticky A sappy oak tree

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex offender.

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Your social life.

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This one time at band camp... I played an instrument and learned to march with the rest of my school's band.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's coop was faulty and thus it escaped.

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An Englishman, and Irishman, and a Scottsman walk into a bar and the bartender says, "Is this some kind of a joke?"

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A drunk man is that last one inside a very popular bar. He passed out on the counter before he ordered a drink. The bartender is angry at a sale lost, which would have been his millionth sale before closing time on the 1000th day of business. He goes home and hangs himself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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