Me: Ask me if im a penguin friend: are you a penguin? me: no.

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A man walks into a bar. What does he say? Ouch!

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This is my first joke don't ????mine. You did didn't you.

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So a man walks into a bar and wonders why he walked into the building instead of simply just walking through the door. The man then realized that the building was if fact not a local bar, but instead a bowling alley. He was hallucinogenic and was in serious danger as he approached the candy man in the alley.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What did the police officer say to the black man? "I am a police officer."

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A thin man walks into a Grocery Store. He trips, hits his head and is killed instantly. There are several children present and they are scarred for life.

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-What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew -The pizza doesn't experience many years of hardship and social belittlement at the hands of a dictator in need of a scapegoat to support radical ideas.

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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why did the indian kill the buffalo? he was suffering from a psychological disorder and took to killing innocent animals in order to relieve the pent up rage caused by repressed memories of childhood abuse.

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What do you call a black person flying an airplane? a pilot you racist

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Why does Michael j. Fox make the best milkshakes? He uses the finest ingredients

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how do you make a plumber cry kill his family

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Why did the child get hit by a bus? He was blind.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Someone else's.

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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer? This would be unlikely to happen, as it would cut the story short.

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How many Freudians does it take to screw your mother - I mean, a lightbulb?

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Two buissness men had a meeting at 12:00 they had there meeting at 12:00 and left back to there normal life.

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A horse walks into a mans house. The man wonders how the horse got into his house.

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the doctor says to the patient " i have some good news and some bad news" the patient says well what is it dock " well the good news is your fine " the patient asked what the bad news was and the doctor said " i lied about you being fine you have aids, and testicular cancer and you have 2 days to live"

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Where did Suzie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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A cow says moo and explodes.

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roses are red facebook is blue no mutual friends who the heck are you

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A black man, a Asian, and a Jew fell into a pit and because of a lack of water they all died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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