How do you you know when you haven't slept in a while? You're tired.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

This guy goes to the ball game. He waits in line at the concession stand and gets a footlong hot dog and a giant orange soda. Then he makes his way around to his section of the stadium, and works his way to his seat, which is in the center of the row. Right when he's about to take a bite of his hot dog, when he hears someone in the seats way up behind him yell "Hey! Mike!" He sets down his hot dog, and sets down his giant orange drink, stands up and turns around, scanning the crowd. Eventually he sits back down. He picks up his hot dog, picks up his giant orange drink, and is just about to take a bike when he hears it again, someone way up behind him yelling "Hey! Mike!". So, he sets down his hot dog, sets down his giant orange drink, stands up, turns around, and scans the hundreds of faces in the seats behind him. After a while, he sits back down. Then, right when he's about to bite into his hot dog, he hears someone behind him yelling "Mike! Hey, Mike!" He sets down his hot dog, sets down his giant orange drink, stands up, turns around, cups his hands around his mouth and yells as loud as he can, "My name's not Mike!"

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why does Deb wear a hat? Because she is actually bald.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What happens when you cross an Asian with a bass guitar? An Asian man lies down diagonally across a bass guitar.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q. How did the blind man survive from walking of a cliff? A. He didn't he died

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the cashier say to the customer? You're total is $27.95

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Yo momma's so fat that when she went to Seaworld and a whale saw her, looked away, and continued on with its daily life.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a shark in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I have a black man in my family tree... He's still hanging there.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock knock Who's there The police "people began to jump out the back window"

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I wouldn't touch ellen degeneres with a 10 foot lance. However, i would shake her hand with my hand. Lesson: 10 foot lances are no way to touch ppl.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A cow says moo and explodes.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

The name "Hunter Barksdale".

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why do Christians believe in God? Because they're stupid

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Wanna hear a joke? The WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How many dead babies can fit in a dead horse 11

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's a Jew's favorite food? You would have to ask on an individual basis because it is unfair to say that all Jew's have the same favorite food

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the cat die? Because it got shot by a teenager who was promply put in juvi and was fined $100,000 for animal abuse. The parents gave up on him and didn't pay the fine or bail and left their son to rot in jail.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Knock Knock Who's there? Well why don't you open the door and find out!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Two guys walk into a bar. One man walks out of the bar at a similiar time.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road To Get To The Other Side

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A woman walked into the doctors office with a black eye. The doctor asked: How did you get that? The woman said: I fell.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did Chuck Norris say to the man that asked for his autograph? He happily obliged and continued on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

There were 4 black people in a Cadillac driving off a cliff. The sad thing was it was a nice car.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops