Q: how many oxen does it take to row up the empire state building in half of a green canoe under the purple sun while eating a dead moose with no arms? A: Purple, because snakes have no elbows.

Roses are red violets are blue, he is for me and not for you, he's too ugly you can have him

Why was the boy crying? Because his parents were in a car crash and died and his grandparents were already dead and he got cancer for christmas. And he had no testicles

Three Jews walk into a bar. One says something to the other two, but it was in Yiddish, and I don't speak that, so I don't know what he said, but all of them laughed really hard, so it must have been funny.

A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender, millions of times larger than the infinitesimally small subatomic particle, does not hear his question and so does not reply.

Good luck on your finals everyone!

What got stolen from the poor boys house... Nothing, he was so poor that he couldn't even afford any thing

What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree it can hurt you? A pool table.

A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Sucks to be a fish.

Knock Knock Who's there? A bag of burning crap.

Why doesn't Santa Claus give presents to African children? Because Santa Claus isn't real.

How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

Why did the mentally handicapped kid fail his math test? Because he didn't study.

Why was the little boy crying? Because a stranger shoved explosives up his butthole.

Why did the bus driver get arrested? Because he hijacked the bus.

What did the boy find on his laptop? -Nothing, he comes from a broken home and can't afford one.

Two Atheists walk into a bar. A nearby Christian notices this fact and proceeds to slightly preach to both of the Atheists. They then kindly explain that they don't personally believe in God, but respect the Christian's opinion. They all order drinks, and become very close friends, engaging in a long, hateless conversation.

I like my women like I like my coffee. Without a penis

What's the difference between jelly and jam? Jelly is made from the juice of the fruit while jam is made from the pulp of the fruit.

Why was Why added to why? Because WHy not.

What did the pregnant teenager get for her birthday? An abortion.

Why did the women knock on the door? she needed to do a shit

I'm trying to see from Adam Fantuzzi's point of view but i cant stick my head that far up my arse Daniel

Kathy Griffin.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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