How are contortionists so flexible? They stretch.

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Q: what animal didnt get on Noah's ark in pairs? A: worms. they got on in apples.

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whats dead and gone your nanas cat

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Jimmy was skipping in the park one day when a young boy stopped him. "Hello there, would you like to be friends? We can go behind the old oak tree and play soccer!" asked the boy. "Ok!" replied Jimmy, and they went off together to play. The so-called 'young boy' was actually a wanted midget rapist. Jimmy was brutally raped and filmed. The film was later uploaded onto the internet where it blew up in a matter of weeks. Jimmy had to move schools 6 times and had to go to counselling every week. He finds it hard making friends and later went on to become a heavy cocaine addict.

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whats white, blue, and red all over? a white guy in the ghetto

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What do you do when your internet goes down? You right click on the internet connection and try to fix the problem.

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Why does Jeremy Kyle love his job? Because he gets to make idiots look like bigger idiots.

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Why is black people's skin darker? Africa

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Roses are red pineapple is yellow I'll shove your head up my ass so you can eat some marshmallows!

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Your momma's so dumb, she had to spend an extra hour studying for her mathematics test.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Does this cloth smell like chloroform to you!

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Knock Knock Who's there? No one. You're imagining things.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was a metaphor.

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How many spiders dose it take to cover a wall? Four, if they are 7 feet tall

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Roses are red violets are blue hes for me not for you if by chance you take my place ill take my fist and smash your face

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a registered six affender.

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Women's rights

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How do you kill a retard You give em a kinfe and ask who's special

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Q: What's the difference between a vampire and a lawyer? A: A lot of things.

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Why aren't there alligators in a bookstore? Because alligators would pose a danger to customers.

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An asian is driving a car. He observes the speed limit and uses his turning signals while switching lanes.

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Whats the difference between a cat and a dog? Nothing a cat and a dog is an extremely different species.

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Two chemists walk into a bar. The first one says "I'll have some H2O." The second one then says "I'll have some H2O too." Both chemists live as no bartender is irresponsible enough to serve liquid hydrogen peroxide in a public bar.

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Q: What did the alcoholic get for his Birthday?\ A: A Jail Sentence

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops