- Anti Joke

Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

How to you confuse an Alzheimer's patient? Present her with a complicated nuclear physics problem.

Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

Why did Susan fall out a tree? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Susan

Why do Vampires Sparkle in the Sunlight? They don't read a proper Vampire Novel and see for yourself.

Hey i just met u And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey i just met u

What does Santa do on Halloween? He gives out candy to the kids who come to his door.

A Squirrel gets ready for hybernation. 21 You Stupid

Whats green and has 4 wheels? A green car.

What's stronger than then the love of a mother and her child? A semi-truck

That awkward moment when you walk in on your economics teacher shagging Danii ... Anyone ?

What do you get if you take the head off a Koala and a Wombat and swap them around? A bloody mess and about 4 years in jail.

i like turtals and kids

Hey, why are asians yellow and africans brown? I'm colorblind.

Why did the British person go to the dentist? He had a poor diet which led to him getting cavities

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

WHATS FASTER THAN INTERNET BUSTA RYMES

Woman's rights.

Roses are red, But ravens are black, please go to China, and never come back!

What is more dangerous than heroine? T.J. Lane

Terry Stockton wasn't really hit.

You are so ugly that plastic surgery may be an option for you to consider.

Q: What did the Mexican kid get for Christmas? A: My bike.

What's the difference between Izzy and a hobo? Nothing...they both have no job and no friends

Where did Susie go after an explosion? Everywhere