Knock-knock. Who's there? Me.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

"Sorry, our servers are being derpy right now. Try to refresh the page, or check out some of our other sites." "Couldn't find the lulz you were looking for. Try to refresh the page, or check out some of our other sites." HORSEHEAD NETWORK... YOU CANT HANDLE THE LULZ! MORAL MAN!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

thumb_up thumb_down +6

An Irish man walks into a bar. He then sits down and enjoys his favorite drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did th chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock! Who's there? The chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes You should probably get yourself checked.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

a boy with asperges asked me a question today he asked me again and again because he has asperges

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What does it take to write a good joke? A punchline

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you? Run, 'cause she's got a grenade in her mouth!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cos it wanted to.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Womens' Rights

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A Jew, an Atheist, and a Muslim walk into a bar. They each drink a bottle, have a conversation, and leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are Red Violets are Blue The end is near I want a beer

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the black guy get kicked out of school? Because he was poor academically.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the boy cross the road? He didn't he stopped and fapped.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Could switching to Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was the baby smoking? He was locked in a hot car.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was six afraid of seven? Seven looked angry and had a gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How does Stevie Wonder pick up girls? He doesnt, he has someone do it for him

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the man say to the woman he was in love with? Sure, I understand and I'm okay with being just friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's black and white and red all over? Two nuns in a chainsaw fight.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was the boy sad? He had just been in a terrible car accident in which he witnessed his entire family die painful, violent deaths and thus suffered from survivor's guilt. Also he dropped his ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops