What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One of them I can whack with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

You know what's funny? A bucket full of dead babies. Do you know what's funnier? The last one is still alive and crying.

A drunk man is that last one inside a very popular bar. He passed out on the counter before he ordered a drink. The bartender is angry at a sale lost, which would have been his millionth sale before closing time on the 1000th day of business. He goes home and hangs himself.

Have you heard the joke that they don't tell retarded people? You haven't? Well then alright let me tell you because it's actually quite amusing.

If one of us goes, all of us go. If we all go, none of us are left out.

Ipod to earbuds: "hey buds" earbuds response: "sup player"

What did the guy who killed Osama Bin Laden say? Burn!

What do u get when u mix a dinosaur and a lesbian? A-lick-alot-a-puss

How did Princess Diana cross the road? Through the windshield

How do you stop an alcoholic from drinking ? You leave him in the desert for 4 days, eventually he'll die from dehydration .

What's worse then finding a finger in your Chili? Getting Mollested by a Pterodactyl.

what do you call a dead black man? dead

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Well that, my friend, is a good question.

Why does a Jew, a catholic, and a buddhist eat pizza? because they like the way it tastes.

why do you care?

What's 9+10? 19

how do you find will smith in the snow? with rescue dogs

What did the kid say when he fell of a cliff and met Tom jones? Hi

In the movie Dark Skies, little white boys were haunted by a mysterious force. The answer is obvious, isn't it? They are being haunted by Michael Jackson's ghost.

Man: I'm just popping out to get cigarettes (He never returns.)

Omg its that superman nope chuck testa

What do you call a black man at the head of the U.S.? A mistake.

Yo momma's so fat that when she went to Seaworld and a whale saw her, looked away, and continued on with its daily life.

A girl dropped her pencil while sitting next to her bf... She glanced at his phone while he was texting a message that said "I love you"... The girl jumped up and called him every name she could think of and left the room... The message was to his mother! She didn't listen and left him... He killed himself because she left him... She killed herself because he killed himself... Moral of the story: Don't drop you pencil!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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