- Anti Joke

A man walks into a bar and says "hey, it's me!". Turns out that wasn't him.

what did the asain have for dinner? A: rice

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Tom and Phill are eating ice cream Tom challenges Phill to a contest to see who can eat their ice cream in one bite Tom finishes his in two bites Phil in one Then he looks like he got a brain freeze Tom notices and says "You idiot: you got brain freeze!" Phill turns around and says "No, I have a brain tumor."

Why did the train crash? Because the conductor was a cucumber.

Me-Whats long and hard and full of seaman Him-a submarine Me-No dumb ass a dick

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cos it wanted to.

Why does the groom wear a black tux? Because he knows a funeral when he sees one.

Q: Why didn't the mexican get into the bathtub? A: He was already clean

Why do everytime I go to toilet for number 2. I look into the toilet to see if this one's nicer than the last one.

Why did Hitler commit suicide? He looked at his gas bill.

What did the Priest say to the Rabbi? Nothing. The Priest was mute and the Rabbi was deaf.

Proof reading

THAT MAN EATS TOO MUCH. therefore he is overweight.

roses are red violets are blue oranges are......

Jesus said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But, John came fifth and won a toaster.

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Why cant African children read? While there are many contributing factors the largest would probably be the lack of a standardized education system mainly due to the logistical factors involved in reaching so many wide spread communities. Also the current economic climate and general disregard for civilians by the governments in these area would suggest that the states' focus would be on other issues besides the welfare of their citizens, this is probably similar to other countries in similar situations such as middle eastern, eastern european, and latin and south america. Then again, not really being educated on this issue in almost any way, has probably contributed to a broad generalization, and so the premise of this joke is most likely flawed in any case.

Knock knock? Who's there? A Jehovah's Witness. Oh. Knock knock? Who's there? Not me!

What makes a catholic priest happier then a visit to the penn state locker room? Introducing Jesus to people and them accepting him as their savior.

What is black and white and red all over? Yemen's national flag.

wow such mark very mark many mark so mark

The Pope

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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