Today is May 18 2016.

Whats the difference between a jewish man wearing a fedora and glass of almond milk? Ones a glass of almond milk.

What's up brah brah

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you."

justin bieber

Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say orange? Well, you shouldn't be. I came to inform you your entire family died in a car crash.

What was the pirate's favorite letter W

A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

I walked into an elevator with Ray Rice...

why couldn't the boy eat his oreo's? His sister ate it.

A Mexican, an Italian and an American all walk into a bar. They order their drinks and have pleasant conversation, and all return home to loving families safely and securely.

So, why is winter so terrible? Because, Napoleon was stopped by winter and we aren't all French.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Provolone

-Have you ever eaten Ethiopian food? -No -Niether have they

A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street when they see an orphanage on fire. "Oh my god!" says the rabbi. "We have to save the children!" "Screw the children!" says the priest. "Out of what?" replies the rabbi.

If you shaved Chuck Norris' beard, you'd find a chin.

What did the little boy say after he was pushed off the cliff? Nothing. He died, therefore, he is incapable of speaking.

Whats Black and White and Red all over? A white boy who just got jumped, with sever bruises left lying in a pool of his own blood.

When life gives you lemons... wait that wont happen

Why did the chicken lay an egg? Because she got knocked up.

What does it take to write a good joke? A punchline

What is green and is a dub dub. A green dub dub.

Why was the little girl crying? Her father has been abusing her and her mother for a year now.

pineapples

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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