What is black and white and red all over? Two Nuns in a chainsaw fight.

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What is the hardest part about rollerblading? Most commonly the balance part.

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Jeff goes to the store, Helen Keller.

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what's worse than getting a paper cut? Hiroshima

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If she is under the age of 18 years old and is identified by your state as a minor, shes too young for you bro.

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you: guess what somebody: what? you: you have cancer

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69

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If Jimmy has 60 candy bars and eats 50 of them, what does he have? Diabetes.

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Why did the milkman die? Because everyone dies.

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Why does Eli Manning play for the Giants? Because he is huge.

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, i'd put my penis in your mouth

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What is worse than 20 babies stapled to trees? 1 baby stapled to 20 trees.

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guys ive got a TANK under my house a septic tank

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What's the difference between George Michael and a microwave oven? One is a human being and the other is a resourceful appliance.

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Mac: Hi, I'm a Mac! PC: And I'm a PC. Steve Jobs died.

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Mindfuck: They call you a patient where medics are because they do not want you to become impatient. The Coronel is the Kernel of the army (coronel sounds a lot like coronel no?) Sergeant = Sir gent. as in Sir gentle(man) Ok, so if you experience insanity one day, does that make you insane forever? In that case I was born and will die hungry and thirsty. Sigmund Freud= Sickman fraud. General: The guy you should generally listen to if you are in the army. 3.14 ratebay = PIRATE BAY! Why is Satan the antichrist, humans killed him :P Satan only "tempted his thirsty brother with water at the desert" Jesus showed real power by saying "NO WATER WHEN I AM THIRSTY IS BAD FROM MY BROTHER!"

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what's the difference between a black man and a lift? both can raise babies, a part from the black man

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Why did Eduardo cross the road. The same reason he crossed the border.

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Good to know tattletale, I remember hating you back then when you betrayed me, but I cant wait to meet you again. Anyway Nero, I am a girl, its not about sex with me, I just had to tell you, and hope you will take better care of yourself, I know you used to be worried about your looks, and I just want you to understand ill be there for you no matter what. Thanks for the kind words Nero, I know you mean them, you never hid the fact that you found me attractive, but while I did not understand then why you would ruin every nice moment by saying something cheesy or rude, I think I get it now... I know you need rest, but can I arrive as soon as possible? Ill just wait outside or something, I wont be a bother I promise.

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Why didn't Steve finish his homework? He didn't want to.

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There is a man with the surname of Westmoreland. This is a terrible name.

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How many software professionals does it take to get a file committed to source control? Well, today it took five.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was unaware that it could get run over by a motor vehicle.

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if I was a girl I would be touching my self everywhere if I was a girl as a boy I would make a diffrence in poltics but thats not gonna happen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops