How many dead babies can you fit in my car? None, I don't allow anyone to put dead babies in my car.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What does a black man, an Asian Man, and a Jewish Man have in common? They are all men.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Mindfuck: They call you a patient where medics are because they do not want you to become impatient. The Coronel is the Kernel of the army (coronel sounds a lot like coronel no?) Sergeant = Sir gent. as in Sir gentle(man) Ok, so if you experience insanity one day, does that make you insane forever? In that case I was born and will die hungry and thirsty. Sigmund Freud= Sickman fraud. General: The guy you should generally listen to if you are in the army. 3.14 ratebay = PIRATE BAY! Why is Satan the antichrist, humans killed him :P Satan only "tempted his thirsty brother with water at the desert" Jesus showed real power by saying "NO WATER WHEN I AM THIRSTY IS BAD FROM MY BROTHER!"

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because her dad through a fridge at her

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Time is irrelevant in this scenario because if this question is based in the United States it is highly unlikely an elephant will be near a fence you own, let alone sit on it, an activity rarely done by elephants and usually projected by humans onto other animals.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What are astronauts called in Soviet Russia? Cosmonauts

thumb_up thumb_down +23

why did the frog cross the road? because he was attached to the duck

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Your mom is soooo fat..... She'll most likely suffer a heart attack

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A serial killer kills a family of 5 He is never found and eventually kills himself from depression

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the plan crash? Because the pilot was a potato

thumb_up thumb_down +23

OBAMA and the DEMOCRATS

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's the difference between a black man and a white man, a white man has lighter skin

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "What'll it be?" The man quietly gazes out at the other people in the bar. He continues to do this for a while, until eventually the bartender calmly taps him on the shoulder to get his attention, and the man turns to look over at him. "What can I get you today?" He asks the man. "What?" the man replies. Turns out he's deaf. Who knew?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you get when Chuck Norris meets Chuck Norris? A bad joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Did you know Hellen Keller had a dollhouse in her backyard? Neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why'd humpty dumpy fall of the wall? Someone threw a fridge at him

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A turtle that couldn't swim walked to Japan.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the camera man say when the actor took off his pants? Why did you take off your pants?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why didn't the boy buy his mom a gift for Christmas? He was killed by a drunk driver two years ago

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: Why did the Mexican jump over the fence? A: He went to go retrieve the ball that was kicked in his neighbor's yard. Afterwords, he continued playing soccer with his friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you kill Chuck Norris? Short Answer: You can't.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

the police there was several calls from people in the sarounding area who heard screaming from ur basement

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops