Roses are red, violetes are blue, Your monkey sucks.

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Knock Knock! Whose there? Adolf Hitler

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Four homosexuals walk into a bar. They notice that there's only one stool left at the bar itself. They sat at a table with four chairs. They had a delightful time.

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Q: What did the man say before he was stabbed? A: "What are you gonna do, stab me?"

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Once upon a time, I was a Muslim.

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No really, try this: You: Say "knock, knock" Your friend: OK, knock knock You: Who's there? Your friend: ...... [this awkward pause makes evident the fact that it has now dawned on your friend that he has to generate content for a joke that he wasn't telling in the first place]

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Why was the little girl blowing bubbles in the swimming pool? Because she was drowning

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Three women are on an airplane. One's a blonde, one's a redhead, and one's a brunette. Unfortunately, the plane was going to crash and there was nothing they could do but jump out and parachute to safety. So the captain said to each of the three ladies, "You can only take one of your possessions when you parachute out of the plane." The blonde says "I will take my watch becau--" But before she could finish her sentence the plane exploded because the flames on the wing had ignited the fuel tank. No one survived.

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A drunk is pissing on the plaza and the cop stands next to him and says, very nice. The drunk says, that's what she said. : )

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Where did the watch-dog take the blind man on Saturday afternoon? Wherever the blind man wanted to go

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Ask if I'm a aardvark. Are you a aardvark? Yes.

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you: guess what somebody: what? you: you have cancer

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Sac

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Did you hear about the deer? He had antlers. If antlers where a kind of disease, that would be a pun.

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Why did the wealthy black man shoplift from the convenience store? He is a kleptomaniac.

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What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? A dog

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There was a screwdriver and a spoon. What did the screwdriver say to the spoon? Nothing because neither of them are living objects and it is impossible for inanimate objects to talk.

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I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one animal there and it was a dog. It was a shitzoo

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GAME OVER!!!!!! OF COURSE!!!!!! I BEHELD AS SATAN FELL FROM THE SKY..: LIKE LIGHTNIIIIIIIIIIIING! Street Fighter 2: The (antijoke) Movie. Moral: Raul Julia, you are the man, rest in peace dude you made that movie a masterpiece, do not give this a thumbs up for me, but for the most brilliant performance he ever gave.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them

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How many Weasleys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2

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A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation is known as fishing for compliments. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

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Wanna hear a joke? Once upon a time, there was a successful Mexican.

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Good luck on your finals everyone!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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