How do you scare a blonde woman? Tie her up and mutilate her family while she watches.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

It was just Michael J. Fox's birthday I wonder if he got in trouble for shaking his presents.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did the first squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure. Why did Bobby fall off his bike? He was hit by 4 squirrels Why did bobby die? He was hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did the man stand on one foot? Because he had one leg.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

what do yo call two dog? dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did you mom shop at Wal-Mart? She had a coupon

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? I did too, he worked hard for four years, partied in moderation, but graduated with a degree in chemical engineering and became very successful in the business world in order to support his wife and two children.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How do you survive the plague? you dont.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

WUT SMELLS ? my poo

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What's worse than waking up next to an ugly girl? Waking up, sealed in a coffin which is floating on a raft traversing through shark-infested waters. Oh, and the raft is on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple Finding multiple worms in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Two cannibals are eating a clown, one says to the other: "Maybe we should rethink our ways of life and realize why animals are on this planet"

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How do you know if an elephants been in your fridge? It's completely destroyed.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Roses are red, violetes are blue, Your monkey sucks.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What swims in the ocean? Fish

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How do you wake up lady gaga? Set an alarm for an appropriate time

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Q:What did the ginger get for Christmas? A: A soul...jk,hair dye

thumb_up thumb_down +32

what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A man walks into a bar. While he sits on a barstool, a man greets him politely, and they proceed with light conversation.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the bus driver get arrested? Because he hijacked the bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- *Commits Suicide*

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A man walked into a bar because he worked there.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's another word for a priest? Rapist

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops