Roses are red, Violets are red, Daises are red, holy crap my garden is on fire.

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Q: whats the fastest way to a woman's heart? A: A knife to the ribs...

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Q: Why don't people like me? A: Because I smell bad and I give off a creepy vibe

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your mother hates you

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What happened to the boy with AIDS? He died at the age of 12

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Nock Nock It's open.

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If Jimmy has 60 candy bars and eats 50 of them, what does he have? Diabetes.

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What did the young boy get His dad for fathers day? Nothing, his dad died from a very aggresive cancer

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What's funnier than 24? 25

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A man walks into a bar and asks for a shot. The bartender says ok, then hands him a pistol, then the man shoots the bartender and kills him.

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Why couldnt the kid see the pirate movie? Because he didn't have eyes.

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Q: What do you call a black hitchhiker? A: A hitchhiker

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How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagen Bug? Four in the seats, twenty six in the ash tray, and thirty in the gas chamber.

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Why don't NBA basketball players shake hands after a game like players in NHL hockey...? ...Because it's a tradition in then NHL.

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Obamacare haters

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Why can't the man have babies? His nuts was cut off and he eventually bleed to death.

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If you and Chuck Norris have five dollars you both have the same amount of money.

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What clicks when its out of lead ? A gun Why was the little black boy crying ? He ran out of that grape drank How do you make a dead baby float ? You take your foot of its head How do you know when your life is over ? When you start watching Twilight What is blue and sticky ? Blue Stick What do you get when you mix a dog and a cat ? Shit

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What's so good about being Swiss? Well.... The flag's a big plus

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A blind man walks into a pole.

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knock knock. come in.

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How do you get a jew out of an empty pool? Give him a lader

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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Why did the dog have 2 legs? he got cut in half.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops