Why did Sara fall off the swing? Because she got shot in the heart with a bolt action sniper rifle and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Hey I just met? you and this is crazy I have alzheimers Hey I just met you

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I enjoy anal.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you say when the cheese isn't yours? The cheese does not belong to me.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what do you call a mentally and physically obese man? nothing until you know or obtain his name

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Yo mommas so fat... that when it was rainning, she put on her rain coat and went outside, everyone was saying that the sun came up

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why is Osama bimladin dead? Because he was a threat to American for many years, and someone finally found him and killed him.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Me: Ask me if im a penguin friend: are you a penguin? me: no.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

WHY DID THE CHICKEN FART SO LOAD TO GET EVRYYBODY ATENTION

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats funny about the Holocaust? Absolutely nothing considering millions of people perished and you people think its funny!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: Why did the boy fall off his bike? A: Someone threw a refridgerator at his head.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is big, grey and can't climb trees? A car park.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How to you confuse an Alzheimer's patient? Present her with a complicated nuclear physics problem.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

have you seen the movie, Constipated? Never mind, it hasn't come out yet.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you do if a blond throw a grenade at you? Take the pin out and throw it back

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

knock knock come in

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I made a sandwich Lol jk, my gf made it for me

thumb_up thumb_down -1

So what makes you that much adaptable? I get the feeling I should get this by now.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was Soren gay? Because he likes to eat men's Penises!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what did the jewish kid get for his birthday......Striped pajamas

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's worse than stubbing your toe? Watching your house burn down and your family scream in pain as their flesh burns and you suffer from chronic depression.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops