A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He then proceeds to ask his wife not to leave her clothing around the house.

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So my friend told me to go shot myself I got my Canon and shoot myself The image came out very clean and profession.

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Want to hear a joke? Jokes are not allowed on this site. Only anti-jokes.

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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I have a sandwich and chips for lunch! But instead of a sandwich I have macaroni, and instead of chips I have no friends.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Let's see how many dislikes this can get!

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Roses are red Violets are red The trees are red Oh crap, the garden's on fire.

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What did one ear say to the other ear? Did you hear that?

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You might be a Redneck...if your job requires you to work long hours out in the sun and you do not take advantage of sunscreen.

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What's black and twelve inches long? A Maglite.

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The dyslexic man called the black man a ginger.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A fossil.

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I saw a butterfly yesterday with no wings so I poured some red bull on it and BAM! it drowned.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms; *knock knock*, Who's There? Not Sally.

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Womens rights.

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Why does snoop dogg carry around an umbrella?? ......fo drizzle

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What's the difference between a baby and a mushroom? One is delicious, the other is a mushroom.

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whats the difference between a white kid a nd a puerto rican kid? one smells fine and the other one smells like he walked out of a butcher shop that sells cigars and cheap prostitutes

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why did summer hit the child because the child is jackson

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how many aliens does it take to change a light bulb? i wouldn't know, i have never seen one and there is the off chance that they don't even exist

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yuor momma so fat she has type 2 diabetes

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EVERYBODY THUMB THIS JOKE DOWN

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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