Did you hear about the Blonde who fell off a cliff You Have? Oh Ok, Have a nice day

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knock knock Who's there? because 7 ate 9

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What did one prisoner on death row say to the other? Can you please clean off the seat when you're done? I'd like to die in my own urine.

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There were 3 guys named Sean, Ryan, and Eye. They were best friends. However, things escalated when Eye slept with Sean's girlfriend and Ryan found out. Ryan felt he had to tell Sean that Eye slept with Sean's girlfriend. Ryan went up to Sean and said "Dude, Eye slept with your girlfriend!" Then Sean shot Ryan in the head before Ryan realized what he had said. Game Over

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What do you call a man with a cigar in his mouth. A person with bad health and dirty teeth.

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I have a red ferrari and 20 dead babies in my garage. Didn't I have a blue ferrari?

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What's brown and sticky? Poo.

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Whats worse than blue balls? Green Balls.

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What do a platypus and Obama have in common? A brain, except for Obama.

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Why did the cow have a pain in his stomach. It has testicular cancer.

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How many fingers does Charlie Sheen have? 8. and 2 thumbs. just like most everybody else.

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why did summer hit the child because the child is jackson

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Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is dead.

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What do you call a politician on fire? A tragic death for the American public..

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Why did the family go to Mexico? Because they were deported

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what do you call a cow with no legs? ground beef

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Whats white and looks like a bunny? a rabbit

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Usually, the bad (anti) jokes are the ones that don't make you laugh. Sometimes you laugh "with" the joke, other times, you laugh at the joke itself because it is a paragon for human failure. The jokes on this website are not exempt from that rigid stipulation. However, it should be noted that all the "jokes" on this particular website are actually hilarious because of the latter reason delineated in the above paragraph. Additionally, this joke was created by a machine and thus the originator of this work is by no means able to learn from the process of trial and error and therfore can make myriad unfunny jokes without compromise.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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What do you call a homeless person with one leg? Rob.

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There was this guy who walked in the bar with one shoe. The bartender asks what happened. The man said the shoe didn't fit. So the bartender ask where is the other shoe. The man said he threw it away. The bartender looks in the trashcan and sure enough he sees his other shoe. The bartender says "This is the same size as your other shoe. Why are you wearing one shoe?" The man says "I'm just playing a prank on you. There's a hidden camera over there and over there. Is it okay if I can put you on YouTube?" and the bartender says "No."

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Why did Helen Keller's cat kill itself? It didn't, I did.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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