why is the name Brian so funny BECAUSE IT IS!

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you and your family will die tonight

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A very rich man had a daughter whom all of the men in town wanted to marry her for wealth. Except there was one man who wanted to marry her due to his love for her. The father let his daughter marry whomever she wanted from all of the men in town, and she chose a man named Wilson Fremblington who wanted to marry her for wealth, because he was physically fit and overall a friendly man.

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If you don't get this joke, you're gay.

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A lady forgot to feed her goat. When she went to feed it, It wasn't there. Why? She didn't have a goat. Another lady forgot to feed her cat. When she went to feed it, it wasn't there. Why? It died 2 days earlier. A man forgot to feed his cow. When he went to go feed it, it wasn't there. Why? They had ate it for dinner last night. A teenage boy forgot to feed his hamster. When he went to feed it, it wasn't there. Why? He spent so much time playing video games that it ate itself. So the boy had his mom make him a sandwich.

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Two muffins are in the oven, One says "Damn it, so hot in here," The other one says " Wow! Muffin which can talk!"

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What did the bodybuilder do when someone stole his wallet? Ab workouts.

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Schroedingers cat walked into a bar... and it didnt.

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Okay okay, its not like I wanted a serious answer anyway, bye!

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What happened to the bus? An unexpected, unforseen, instantaneous, sudden finger began to slowly disintergrate the earth

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How many men does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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Your Mommy is a gas pump.

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Is your friend gay? Yeah, duh, of course he's happy.

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What did the DVD player say when a video tape was put in? You incompatible.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? There was a huge pile of dead babies blocking his path.

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Why was the duck in jail? For Smoking...Quack!!

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Why was the black guy charged for murder? He killed his wife.

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What do you call the alarm system in a failing inner-city school? A dumbbell!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it!!!

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Why did the boy laugh? Because someone told him a joke.

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Where do you go when you die? Nowhere

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Why did Osama bin laden plan 9/11? Same reason Justin bieber was born....

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why did the movie get bad reviews? it was a bad movie

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What did the prostitute say to the nun? It's nice to see you again, Sister.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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