Why do firemen wear red suspenders? If they didn't, their turnout gear would not effectively protect them from flames.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf a bread

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Why did the dinosaurs die out? Because you touch yourself at night.

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Woman rights.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind, black kid get for Christmas? Modern Warfare 3.

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What did the girl say when she arrived at the party? "I like what you did with the furniture!"

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what did the smoker say to the doctor? nothing she died of lung cancer.

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Q: What is the meaning of life? A: We don't know. Dwight: FALSE. The answer to everything is 42.

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Bumper Sticker: I Brake for Stop Signs

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WHO the FUK are Waseem ? and Jess ??!!!!

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your mother hates you

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what do you call cheese that isn't yours? Chuck Norris' Cheese

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I can Nazi

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What did the boy find on his laptop? -Nothing, he comes from a broken home and can't afford one.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Time to call animal control.

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What is big, white and hairy A refrigerator, I lied about the hair

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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Q: What's the best way to get a woman to stalk talking? A: Ask them nicely.

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Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? A: The dead baby was once alive, while the ferrari couldn't possibly have lived since it's a car and cars are inanimate objects.

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What do you call a black guy driving a Mercedes through New York? A U.S. Citizen

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Why was the white man rich and the black man poor? Because when the white man was 11 and he didn't have a job because 11 year olds don't get hired, because its not legal, he use to pick up pennies. And when the black man was 11 he got a job mowing lawns and ended up being a lawyer graduate and spent the rest of his life paying off his school loan. The white man lived in the 70's and the black man lived in he twentieth century.

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How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagon? 2 in the front seat, 3 in the back.... and that's it because the holocaust never happened.

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- Knock knock - I have a doorbell

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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