Whats Black and blue My wife after i beat her ass.

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so dont touch it.

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what's worse than a dead baby in the bathtub? if the baby was named Grace.

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What's worse than having AIDS. Being Black.

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what do you get if you eat cream cake, coffee cake, strawberry cake, chocolate cake, fruit cake, and sponge cake? a very large stomach-cake.

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Im going to france... Why To get french fries! Have fun Im back with a $10000bill to pay Wheres the fries Shit

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How long will it take for a dog to paint a color wheel? I don't know.

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Holy fuckfarts! I did mention I am at my mothers place right? What am I saying? What am I typing? Marry me now!

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Police Report: A 100 year old man was beaten to death on his centennial birthday. Sources claim to say he was "getting his birthday punches"

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Why did little Lucy climb up a tree? Cos her dad beats her.

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christimas? A: Cancer.

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What's the difference between gays and straights? Sexual orientation

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If you looked up stupid in Webster's dictionary, you wouldn't see a picture of yourself, because Webster's dictionary doesn't have pictures.

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What did the doctor say to the little boy? Pull down your pants and cough.

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A blonde sits down in first class on a flight to Miami. That's because she had a ticket for the seat.

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They say the human body is comprised of 70% water, it's more like... 60% because I'm dehydrated if know what I'm saying... I should really drink some water.

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What did the house do when it came alive? It went home

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A blonde and a brunette both starred in a TV show.. It was called Beavis and Butthead.

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What did the mother get at the grocery store? Food.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because it was a refrigerator. Why did the little girl die? Because she was hit by two monkeys and a refrigerator.

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It was a dark night, I was walking home from the shops in town, The wind was whistling through my damp hair, My spine tingled and i tucked my hands under my stinking pits. I felt like someone was watching me, I walked faster the breath was warm on my kneck i turned around. It was gary glitter he pulled down my pants and gave me the best sucky i ever had. We kissed and i tasted the cheese from my knob. In all garry glitter has a giant knob

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why did the giraffe cross the road? because my dad and his "fishing buddies" are having another "meeting" in the basement. I hear weird noises, and I haven't seen my little sister in weeks, since the last "meeting." Dad said she went to a special camp for little girls. I hear horrible noises.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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I AM DEAD, FUCKING, SERIOUS! NOW GET OVER HERE MOMMY I WANT TO... ...Thats pretty disgusting, I was born a man, maybe an infant man, but a man regardless. So how about you stop showcasing me to people here and we just take off? I mean I am dead tired and sleepy, I would say good night, but its day here now so yeah.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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