"Do you wanna hear a funny joke?" Yeah, Sure! "A funny joke."

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whats long and hard on a black man? his femur.

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It's a man's 100th birthday, and as one of his last wishes he wants to go skydiving. Unfortunately, due to his crippling arthritis, he was unable to pull the rip cord on his parachute and plummeted to his death.

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Why did the pedophile get arrested? He was driving way over the speed limit.

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What's worse then a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Suddenly the Titanic started sinking, its a shame it sunk before anyone managed to find out what it was sinking about.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Herpes, Now you do too.

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Do you know what is worse than getting kicked downstairs? Getting kicked upstairs because then you could fall downstairs and break your skull.

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What's the color of a retarde dogs hair? 69

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Why didn't the elephant do any tricks? It was dead.

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Old guitars sound like cat's guts

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"You've got a lot of C in your body." said the doctor. Jimmy replied with glee: "Ah that's great news, vitamin C is.." "No you've got Hepatitis C, you'll be dead within a month."

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A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her." "Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable son of a BITCH!" she screamed. "Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."

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Why does Nathan Rogers never get any pussy? Because goblins have small dicks

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knock knock Who's there? because 7 ate 9

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A dog walks into a saloon and says "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw." The patrons are afraid of the talking dog.

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What is black and blue and red all over? Rihanna

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Why didn't the woman cook dinner for her husband? She had to work late.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Milkman! Milkman who? ....Timmy....I've been coming here for FOURTEEN YEARS! AND YOU CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER MY NAME?!?! I drove your mom to the hospital when you were born since your father is such a deadbeat. I helped pick out your name!! I'm sorry I wasn't born into wealth like you. I'm sorry I have to go door to door handing out milk for other people! I have been coming here every week for FOURTEEN YEARS! But no Timmy, no, don't try to remember my name. Just forget about all the laughs we have had. Or that time i left my family on Christmas because your mother needed me to go find you that Turbo man doll. I saved you from a burning vehicle! I helped you win your third grade science fair! Remember? I have a picture of us and that robot right here in my wallet. I show it to people all the time! Here's me and my...my pal Timmy. Well Timmy, this is it. You shan't see me again.

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I have a red ferrari and 20 dead babies in my garage. Didn't I have a blue ferrari?

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What do you call a sandwich that has sandwich on it? A sandwich.

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What's worse than nailing 10 babies to a tree? Nailing1 baby to 10 trees

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Your mamas so fat. She fat.

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What did the dog say when the woman put a sweater on him? Nothing, dogs can't talk and he has no idea what is going on

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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