What did the Egyptian helicopter do when it went into the pyramid? Exploded.

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This is Jeff and I gots to take a HUGE SHIT. I bet its gonna be smelly and runny. After I wipe I'm gonna lick it and taste it. I bet it tastes GOOD. I hope it has a lil blood in it too.

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Zach Barlow

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Is your refrigerator running? no then your food is probably beginning to rot

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Shit I'm bleeding.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was mad at it wife.

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What is worse than Justin Bieber? Well, 1. Deforestation 2. Hurricanes 3. Diabetes 4. Mass Murder ....and probably much more.

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why did the baby die because it was diagnosed with lukimia

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This is an inappropriate joke and is meant to make you laugh

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What's worse than dropping a dollar down the drain? Getting your nipple ripped off by a pair of pliers

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Why did the depressed teenager die? Because he had cancer.

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what's the last thing you want to hear during surgery? your wife complaining

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what did lois call peter when she first saw him? i dont dont know do you?

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I dont know if you know this but i have a penis

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Knock Knock. Who's There? silence... Damn kids and their evasive tactics.

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Q: why did a sanke have a rattle A: it was born wiith it

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor?

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what do men with small penises use as condoms? appropriately sized condoms.

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WHY DID THE WHITE MAN TALK TO THE BLACK MAN TO LIGHTEN HIM UP

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What do you get when you cross an intersection? Possibly a lower leg contussion, ACL tear, breaks in 4 different sections of your arm and lots of brain swelling if you are hit by a car.

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Bob: Hey bro Jim: ... Bob: You're dead! Jim: Yep.

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What is the difference between a car and dead babies? The car is legally obtainable by law and can run on gasoline, when dead babies are nonliving humans, and the owner of which would most likely be sent to jail.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Why'd the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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