You are so ugly that plastic surgery may be an option for you to consider.

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whats blue and can be seen in the sky? the sky.

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Where did Susie go after an explosion? Everywhere

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Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

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What's the difference between Izzy and a hobo? Nothing...they both have no job and no friends

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Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

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1. A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''

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hey bill!

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Why did the man fall off the cliff? I pushed him????????

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How do you know a thief has been using your computer? It's missing.

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Whats worse than not coming up with an original anti joke? Nothing.

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Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

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Why did the Jew die? Because Hitler was born...

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Why is it as hot as the sun? Because it is the sun

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What's green,has 4 legs and lives in a tree? A pool table

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What is green and is a dub dub. A green dub dub.

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What do you get when you mix black, white, and Asian? A panda bear

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lol

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"life is like a box of chocolates", except you cant eat life and hocolate doesnt rain on you.

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Why did Susan fall out a tree? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Susan

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i like turtals and kids

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what is the difference between joe diragi and jerry sandusky sabdusky only targets human little boys

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Hey, why are asians yellow and africans brown? I'm colorblind.

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A man walks into a crowded bar and orders a beer. The bartender doesn't hear him due to the background noise of everyone talking and the man has to repeat his order.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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