Hey I just met you, and this is Crazy, but I think I Love You, so have my baby! ;)

I walked into a bar the other day and ordered a double. The bartender brought out a guy who looked just like me.

Why did the banana go to the hospital? It didnt, bananas cannot speak or walk. It is a simple fact so you should know.

Q: what do you call a muslim driving a plane? I don't know A: 9/11

Person 1: Can I write a good anti-joke? Person 2: No. Person 1: Why nut? Person 2: All the gud onez r taken. ;-; tru...

How do you confuse a blonde? Speak to her in a nonsensical language of gibberish you have devised without her being able to understand or translate.

Hey my names cliff. You should drop by sometime

Who graduated top of their class, got their degree two years early and lead a very successful life? Not you

Why are spanish people good at soccer? Hard work and a long-life time comitment

Why am I righting in english? Because this is an english site.

So, why is winter so terrible? Because, Napoleon was stopped by winter and we aren't all French.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "My wife just died from pancreatic cancer."

Knock Knock *no answer* Knock Knock *Genevieve enters the house with curiosity and is later charged with Breaking and Entering*

Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree? Because ie was glued to the other one. why did the third elephant fall out ot the tree? Because he thought it was a game. why did the tree fall? Because there were elephants in it.

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was a cold day

My bologna has a first name It's O-S-C-A-R... My bologna has a second name It's M-A-Y-E-R... Oscar and Mayer were the names of the pig and the cow that were slaughtered and subsequently processed into the bologna I am eating.

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? HIV

What is funny and has three legs? Not the Holocaust.

A black guy is lying on the floor dead with a knife next to him, what killed him? Multiple bullets sprayed from an uzi being held by a rival gang member....

When life throws you lemons what should you do? Take cover.

The Sarah Palin bus tour to teach children about history.

girls basketball

Why did the man stop chewing gum? I threw a grenade at him.

You: Mike and Steve were playing chess, who won? Them: Mike You: no, it was steve

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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