a mushroom walks in to a little boys party the boy says why are u here mushroom says because im a fun-guy (fungis,fungi)

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Your Mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A Jew walks into a bar The bar owner looks at a gang of punks in the back and shouts "YOU! GET OUT!" The Jew leaves the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How do you unclog a toilet? You call a plumber.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down +28

My phone rang. So I answered it.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Q: What did the rectum say to the Anus? A: "Your a waste."

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the cat cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why do firemen wear red suspenders? If they didn't, their turnout gear would not effectively protect them from flames.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why didn't Helen Keller learn to drive as a teenager? They didn't have cars back then.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did your last slave die of? Terminal Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What is black and white and red all over? Two Nuns in a chainsaw fight.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He then proceeds to order a couple drinks, and shortly leaves after drinking them, later ending up in a fatal car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are blue Violets are red Crap, I already messed up the joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A man is training his dog. He tells the dog to sit. The dog sits. "Good boy!" said the man. The dog did not thank the man for the compliment because dogs cannot speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

what did the smoker say to the doctor? nothing she died of lung cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the lonely old man get on valentines day? Nothing, because his wife died of cancer two years ago.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Its true, he didnt write that!!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q: What is the meaning of life? A: We don't know. Dwight: FALSE. The answer to everything is 42.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q: What do you call an American who has both Irish and Italian ancestry? A: An American.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

what would Michael jakson do if he was alive? scream and hit the top of his coffin

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf a bread

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops