Knock-knock. Who's there? Me.

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An Irish man walks into a bar. He then sits down and enjoys his favorite drink.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue The end is near I want a beer

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Q: What did the guy with glasses say to the guy without glasses? A: Dude your not wearing glasses.

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Why did the guy fly? Because he steped on a landmine

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What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you? Run, 'cause she's got a grenade in her mouth!

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Whats the difference between a corvette and a pile of dead babies? One is a specific type of sports car, and the other is a sad destruction of many young lives

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Thats what she said

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What does it take to write a good joke? A punchline

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What has 3 legs? An abnormal human.

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a boy with asperges asked me a question today he asked me again and again because he has asperges

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There was a girl who was allergic to peanuts she ate peanuts and died the next day. She got hit by a bus.

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Ask me if I am a bus. Are you a bus? No.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven looked angry and had a gun.

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What's big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? Your mom.

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Roses are Violets, Violets are Roses, I am a dumb ass, The Hobbit.

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A boy has a penis, a girl has a vagina.

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Why did the boy cross the road? He didn't he stopped and fapped.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What do you call 200 black people dead in the ocean? It's a start.

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What is green and is a dub dub. A green dub dub.

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Friends are like potatoes. If you eat them, they die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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