You have never had sex because.... Well, look in the mirror and you'll see for yourself -Matt

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What did the leper say to the prostitute? "I am an undercover police office and you're under arrest for prostitution, ma'am."

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John - hey do you have tickets to see Oasis? Sam - No I bought green day tickets intead. John rolls his eyes at sam very dissapointedly then proceeds to go home. The next day Sam phones John excitedly telling him he traded his Green day tickets for Oasis tickets, a smile appears on Johns and Sams faces, not that they can see each other, they both then put the phone down. An African died. Green Day are a bad band.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Clever rhyming punch line refrigerator

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because it was a refrigerator. Why did the little girl die? Because she was hit by two monkeys and a refrigerator.

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''thanks for giving me back the money i lent you david''-said nobody

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Why did the girl drop her ice cream her cone broke

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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A choir boy is hit by a car outside church. Someone runs to him and says "shall I fetch the priest?" The boy starts to mumble something but quickly loses consciousness, and later dies after 16 hours in ICU.

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Why did i write an antijoke? Because i can't write real jokes.

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why is the name Brian so funny BECAUSE IT IS!

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How many women's right's leaders does it take to change a light bulb? None. They can't change anything.

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ginger

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What's worse than the holocaust. I'm a Nazi so the holocaust wasn't actually that bad.

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Why do Asians squint their eyes? They were born like that.

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Why couldn't the blond turn the TV on? Because she is blond.

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One morning a man was frustrated at the dining table. His wife ask "What's wrong?". He says "I can't fit this stupid puzzle pieces together." His wife asks "What's it a picture of?" The man says "A rooster" The wife says "Honey, put the cornflakes back in the cereal box." The man says "no".

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A man using Apple Maps walks into a bar. Or maybe a hospital... or possibly a church.

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Black people are ugly. They should not live in this world. They are apes. They should live as apes not humans. Why do they have ugly curly hair, fat lips, and a big flat nose? SO UGLY!! EWW

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What's mean to black people? The economy. But, I forgot to mention that it's not nice to whites, hispanics, asians or anyone else.

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a man and a woman walk into a alley. They get mugged the man fights back out of pride and then gets stabbed the woman escapes and then goes to the police the man is then found two days later. *gasp* what a weird dream.

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Knock Knock Who's there I have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock

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whats the difference between a pair of shoes, and a computer. alot.

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmicist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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