What do you do when life gives you lemons? Make some fucking lemonade.

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Why couldn't the Canadian taste the maple syrup? Because someone cut off his tongue. -BLLJ

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george goodburn is secretly mexican

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Two gorillas swing into a bar and are promptly escorted out because the gorillas are alcoholics.

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Hey, I just met you... No, I'm your brother. You've known me for 30 years. You must have memory loss.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Plenty of things

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What did hitler say to the jews? Die.

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Roses are Red Violets are Gay This poem makes no sense Octopus

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Me: Ask me if im a penguin friend: are you a penguin? me: no.

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If life throws you melons... ouch

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Whats hotter than the sun? Larger stars.

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What happened when john pelted susie with a rock? she had a temporary concusion, needed eight stitches and John was grounded

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Man 1: HEY DUDE! Man 2: Go shoot yourself

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Why did the chicken cross the road To get to your house Knock knock: whos there? The chicken duh

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Roses are red Violets are blue Elephants cant jump Neither can amputees

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A man finds an old lamp, rubs it, and releases the genie trapped inside. The genie grants him three wishes. So the man wishes for a million more wishes and uses them all wisely,

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What's the difference between Batman and a black man? Batman is a superhero and the other is just a normal person.

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Son: Dad what does it mean to f***? Dad: Jimmy! don't use that kind of language.. use the word chainsaw instead. Son: Ok, well what does it mean to chainsaw? Dad: Well as you know, God created people, he started with Adam and eve and then he- Son: You keep referring to god as a he, are you suggesting that God has a penis? I guess that would explain the big bang theory... right? get it? Dad: ... Go chainsaw yourself, Jimmy.

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Yo mama so fat that.....NooNoooNooooooo (strips)

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Why did Gus go to the HC? Because he got high off his ass.

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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

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Q: What happens when you hit a man with a car? A: You speed away hoping no one saw, you spend the next month and a half agonizing over your crime as it consumes you because you think of the poor man's family, then you either go to prison or hang yourself from a fan all because you wanted road dome....

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A conversation between friends ( or some what.) Joe: I'm thinking about going out of state for college ... Rick: your mom went to college! Joe: yes she did Rick that's why shes a docker and my families rich.

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Why did the girl jump of the control tower??? She didnt I lied.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops