What did Winnie the Pooh say to Eeyore? Nothing, he just suffocated him in a pot of honey.

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy, but Im on bath salts, and you're face looks tasty;)

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why do elephants eat peanuts? so they can save the wrappers for valuable prizes

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Why didn't Timothy wish his dad a Happy Father's Day? His dad died yesterday in a car accident.

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What's the difference between a woman and a car? A woman is merely a useful object, whereas a car deserves love, care, and respect.

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Q: How do you make a cat bark? A: Douse it in gasoline and throw it in a fire.........WOOF!!!!

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Why did the black man skip every other step on the stairs? Because he had long legs and it was faster.

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row row row your boat gently down the stream rape

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1: Ask if I'm a truck. 2: Uh... Are you a truck. 1: No.

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why was the kid sad? his fish died. he had to flush it down the toilet.

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So Jimmy's phsycology teacher is trying to think of beginnig lessons for her phsycology class. so she gets up and says "class, i want u anyone who thinks they are stupid to stand up." nobody stood up. then Jimmy stands up. The teacher says "Jimmy, u think u are stupid?" Jimmy replies "No, i just felt bad with u standing up all alone."

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have you seen Britney Spears lately? no. i wouldn't expect you to since she is a pop sensation and you are just a regular person trying to find your way in this world

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A black guy is lying on the floor dead with a knife next to him, what killed him? Multiple bullets sprayed from an uzi being held by a rival gang member....

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What advice did the cat give to the man? Nothing because it's a cat.

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what's the difference between a dog and a sheep? one's a dog and the other isn't.

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Boy:well you merry me. Girl:no Boy: why not? Girl:becuase you're rapeing me

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And love is, bein' the owner of a company that makes rape whistles and even though you started the company with good intentions trying to reduce the rate of rape, now you don't wanna reduce it at all cuz if the rape rate declines you'll see an equal decline in whistle sales. Without rapists, who's gonna buy your whistles? Who's gonna buy your whistles? Love is all about whistles.

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And I want you like Anne Frank wanted ... nobody to read her diary. Cuz, like a diary is a collection of secret things that no one else reads, that's the whole point of a diary. Millions of people have breached this little girl's privacy after she was chased by Nazis. Kick her while she's down.

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Go online. why? To get a quote. why? To save money. Because we said so! Parenting can be hard. see how easy it is to save with GEICO.

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Your dad is so bald, that a various number of people compliment him on how well shaven his head is.

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Robin, get in the batmobile.

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Ham sandwich

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What does a gay horse eat? HEEEEEEYYYYYY!

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How do you make a baby cry? You punch him him the gut and slap him multiple times.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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