what is purple and hairy like a bear? A purple bear

Q: What is the difference between a tree and a women? A: your mom

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

What's worse than getting kicked by a horse? Drowning.

Q: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? A: They're all gone.

Why did the blonde buy a hotdog? She didn't. She has chronic anorexia.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder lately? No? Neither has he.

What did the blind kid get for Christmas? A collection of braile children's reading books.

A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

What did the gay logger do to the tree with a hole in it? Cut it down.

Q: What do you do if you find your tv floating at night? A: Yell "DROP IT NIGGAH!" Q: What do you do if you find your tv floating in the day time? A: Run away cause your house is haunted.

What's brown and sticky? Human excrement.

Ever hear the joke about the black guy going to jail its not a joke.

what is faster than a cheetah? i dont know what? if i knew why would i be asking..

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't a drunk driver went off the street and hit the chicken and killed it on impact.

What's older than history? Pre-history.

What did the priest say to the rabbi ? I'm gay.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech? One is a blood-sucking parasite, and the other practices law for a living.

Why did the Dr love drop hit guitar? Because a bear walked into a bar and killed everyone in there including dr love and was then shot to death by police and animal control.

What did the widow get for mothers day A miscarriage

An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

Who let the dogs out? The pet shop.

What is worse than the Holocaust? a Michael Bay movie

ask me if im poop are you poop? no that is impoible

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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