got a new boxing bag the other day its hanging from the top of my stairs its called dead seb

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech? One is a blood-sucking parasite, and the other practices law for a living.

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What did the mime say when he met the clown. Nothing.

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Why does Brianne cry? Because she has no family.

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What is round and will hurt you if you step on it? The sun

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Why did the man get off the bus? Penis

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What did the blind kid get for Christmas? A collection of braile children's reading books.

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Why was the teacher laying on the floor? Because shes dead...

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In an alternate universe, Jake Sulley's brother did not die. The human race proceeded to strip-mine Pandora of all its mineral wealth, and slaughtered the entire indigenous population.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? - It was dead.

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What's the difference between Justin Beeber and a Basett hound? I don't know.

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Q: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? A: They're all gone.

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A man walks into a 1980's style restaurant he takes a seat and orders his meal.

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What did the boy say to the stranger at his door? He said, "i'm not supposed to talk to strangers" and closed the door.

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A man walks into a bar, has a few drinks and spots a nice looking lady He then follows her home and molestes her child.

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Why didn't the man eat the carrots? Because he was a vegetarian.

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What is a pirate's favorite kind of pizza? Cheese.

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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A man violently rapes a small child. Unfortunately the child has aids and gives them to the man.

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I saw a man one day i saw him the next day and the next and the next i didn't see him ever again

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Q: What do you do if you find your tv floating at night? A: Yell "DROP IT NIGGAH!" Q: What do you do if you find your tv floating in the day time? A: Run away cause your house is haunted.

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What is worse than the Holocaust? a Michael Bay movie

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A man goes to his drug dealer to buy Meth, there is no joke here, he is addicted to meth.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I have not seen chicken since I was very young, on my parents' farm. This is before the Cossacks slaughtered them. I can still hear screams of sister as soldiers ravaged her. But back to question, where did you see chicken? I am very, very hungry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops