Why did hale say I have but one life to give for my country? He has one life

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Once upon a time, your face.

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What did the widow get for mothers day A miscarriage

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What is round and will hurt you if you step on it? The sun

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A tiger walks into a bar. Clearly there is something wrong with animal control.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't a drunk driver went off the street and hit the chicken and killed it on impact.

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Why do chinese firefighters wear white belts in their firefighting uniforms? So the their pants stay up.

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I'm the rubber and you're the glue, whatever you say sends vibrations through the air that hit my eardrum and my brain interprets these vibrations as what your are saying.

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A Brunette walks in to the docters office and says" Docter it hurts when i poke my self." She then pokes her arm and screams in agony. Then She pokes her leg and screams in agony. The Docter says "Are you really a brunette'' She replys "no im a Blonde." Docter says " oh then you have broken your finger"

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What's rock hard and is sharp? A rock...and my penis.

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? The hooker is a human being whereas the onion is a vegetable.

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Yo mamma so fat, she probably has Type Two Diabetes - which is often associated with obesity - and should seek medical advice.

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Suzie has no arms and no legs and is on a swing. what happened? she fell and died knock knock whos there? not suzie.

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whats white and cant climb a fence? a fridge

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what's red and green and goes 100 mph? a red and green car going over the speed limit.

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Adam said to God, "God, I need a companion." God replied, "OK Adam, but you need to give up a rib." Adam agreed and thus humanity was born.

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Q: Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? A: Because he's dead.

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Mary had a little lamb. Then Died.

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Magic is another word for "poorly perceived analysis of the mechanics of this complex instrumentality we call optical illusion."

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Want to hear the best joke ever? Me too.

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What's the difference between Justin Beeber and a Basett hound? I don't know.

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Why does a squid have 8 legs? It doesn't, it has 8 tentacles!

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What do a fish and a car have in common? They are both edible.

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Yo mommas so fat they had to change 'one size fits all' to 'one size fits most'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops